Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, researchers believe that the amount of fast

food

Use synonyms

consumed is out of control,

moreover

Linking Words

, it can cause unhealthy situations and even diseases. When it comes to the solutions to

this

Linking Words

, there are two contrasting opinions, one supposes it is able to be dealt

Change preposition

with by

show examples

education,

whereas

Linking Words

another disagrees with the effects of educating

people

Use synonyms

. The essay will discuss both sides and explain why I approve of the latter view. On the one hand, improving

people

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’s awareness of detrimental substances contained in junk

food

Use synonyms

seems to be the most possible way to keep them away from that harmful

food

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because a majority of individuals do not realize how acute dishes like burgers and chips attack them. The case in some developing countries where human health is not taken seriously is an example. Citizens there only concentrate on the convenience that fast

food

Use synonyms

provides, not its long-term consequences.

Therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

would be likely to consider carefully about their eating habits if they were educated.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it must be said that education usually has no use. Today consumers are allowed to access information related to nutrition simply via the Internet, so most of them are knowledgeable the junk

food

Use synonyms

’s terrible effects.

However

Linking Words

, perhaps they do not care much about them. A piece of evidence is Coke, one of the most popular soft drink brands in the world.

Although

Linking Words

everyone knows that it includes high

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

of added sugars and processed preservatives, which lead to severe health problems

such

Linking Words

as obesity and diabetes, nobody has an intention to give it up.

In addition

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, the increasing sales and the constant appearance of fast

food

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restaurants like McDonald's and KFC in every corner of urban areas

also

Linking Words

present the individuals’ apathetic attitude. To summarize, despite the fact that educating

people

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has certain impacts on coping with

this

Linking Words

problem, its range is extremely small and insignificant.

Hence

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I personally think education has never been an effective way to make

people

Use synonyms

change their diet.

[email protected]Sun May 19 2024

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task achievement

While your essay is well-structured and the ideas are clearly presented, try to elaborate a bit more on each point you make. This will provide greater depth to your argument and can engage the reader more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Try to use a wider range of linking words and add more varied sentence structures to improve coherence and cohesion. This will make your writing sound more sophisticated and less repetitive.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that every paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. While your essay has a logical structure, some transitions could be made smoother for better flow.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly states the topic and outlines both perspectives effectively. This sets a clear direction for the essay.

supported main points

The main points in your essay are well-supported with relevant examples, which strengthens your arguments.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion. This provides a strong finish to your essay.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Topic: Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

An organization has given an advertisement for a part-time job for local children. Write a letter to the administrator of the organization. In your letter Introduce yourself Why you think you are suitable for the job State when you will be able to join that job

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?