Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In modern workplaces, different people have different opinions on how they want to spend their free
time
. While
some enjoy spending leisure time
with colleagues outside work
, others like to keep their private lives separate from work
. In the course of this
essay, we will discuss both the aspects and how they impact work
-life balance.
Those who choose to spend time
with colleagues outside work
often believe that it helps strengthen their bond, which helps in a collaborative work
environment. Additionally
, they think that socializing with peers at higher levels even increases their chances of getting visibility at a wider organisation level. Moreover
, it helps in building trust and improving communication among team members, making it easier to work
together. For many these shared experiences also
create a sense of support, improving overall
job satisfaction and individual morale.
On the other hand
, people who prefer to keep their private life separate from work
life want to maintain a boundary between the two. Following
this
way, these people can avoid burnout and reduce stress by having dedicated time
to relax and pursue interests. Not only does keeping the two separate help in avoiding work
distractions,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
it can prevent conflicts and maintain professionalism amongst the
peers. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, having personal time
helps in improving the overall
well-being of a person.
In conclusion, both approaches to spending leisure time
and balancing work
offer distinct benefits. Spending time
with colleagues helps in better collaboration and teamwork, whereas
keeping both aside prevents burnout and ensures a healthy work
-life balance. Ultimately, the best approach depends on individual personal choices and the nature of one's work
environment. Finding a balance and professional goal is a key to overall
satisfaction and productivity.Submitted by bhutani.trisha09 on
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task achievement
Your response needs to address the specific topic more directly. While discussing leisure time and work-life balance is relevant, make sure your essay answers the prompt about people choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with families.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph connects clearly to the main argument of your essay. Clearer topic sentences and transitions between points would help improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more concrete, relevant examples to support your points. This could involve citing specific scenarios or studies to reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to further structure your paragraphs so that each one clearly supports the overall argument of your essay. Each main point should ideally be developed with examples or further explanation.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-framed, setting up and summarizing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You present relatively clear ideas and make an effort to discuss different perspectives, contributing to a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a reasonable attempt at structuring the essay with distinct paragraphs, making it fairly easy to follow your line of reasoning.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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