IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #quality #life #centuries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over whether
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
 in the 21st
century
Use synonyms
 have been enhanced compared to
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the past. I consider myself a supporter of
this
Linking Words
 idea. Without a shadow of a doubt, citizen’s
lives
Use synonyms
 in the 21st
century
Use synonyms
 have been enhanced in the 21st
century
Use synonyms
. Because of digital revolutions, plentiful top-notch conveniences and modern technologies have appeared in order to revamp
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the appearance of the internet and smartphones can be cited as a compelling example which makes connecting
people
Use synonyms
 to each other
becomes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
easier than it used to be in the previous days when
people
Use synonyms
 had to write letters and send them to the post office to contact others which took a lot of time to receive and reply. Meanwhile, in
this
Linking Words
 day and age, having a smartphone which is connected to the internet in order to get in touch with others by sending messages or video calls.
Hence
Linking Words
, the revolution of technology is one of the significant factors which contributes to better life quality.
While
Linking Words
 the redeeming features of digital development are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of medical advancement are ignored. Because there are more modern facilities and more excellent doctors, thousands of
lives
Use synonyms
 have been rescued. To be more particular, during the
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic period,
although
Linking Words
 it is a dire disease which was hardly seen before, thousands of
people
Use synonyms
 have been brought back to life by the doctors’ efforts and advanced infrastructures.
Thus
Linking Words
, health improvement plays
such
Linking Words
 a paramount significant role in
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
 for the time being. In conclusion, the revolutions of digital and medication are one of
contributors
Add an article
the contributors
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's better
lives
Use synonyms
 in the 21st
century
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Be sure to provide a balanced perspective. While it's great you have a clear stance, also briefly acknowledge counterarguments to create a more comprehensive argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Integrate varied sentence structures and transition words to enhance flow and readability. It will make your essay more engaging and coherent.
Task Achievement
Focus on elaborating your ideas further. After presenting an example or point, delve deeper into its impact or significance to strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Healthcare improvements
  • Economic growth
  • Social changes
  • Global connectivity
  • Standard of living
  • Life expectancy
  • Gender equality
  • Legal rights
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Access to information
  • Environmental concerns
  • Sustainable development
  • Stress levels
  • Quality of life
  • Medical progress
  • Job opportunities
  • Income disparity
  • Life satisfaction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: