People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #quality #life #centuries

There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over whether

people

lives

in the 21st

century

have been enhanced compared to

Change preposition

apply

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the past. I consider myself a supporter of

this

idea. Without a shadow of a doubt, citizen’s

lives

in the 21st

century

have been enhanced in the 21st

century

. Because of digital revolutions, plentiful top-notch conveniences and modern technologies have appeared in order to revamp

people

lives

For instance

, the appearance of the internet and smartphones can be cited as a compelling example which makes connecting

people

to each other

becomes

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apply

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easier than it used to be in the previous days when

people

had to write letters and send them to the post office to contact others which took a lot of time to receive and reply. Meanwhile, in

this

day and age, having a smartphone which is connected to the internet in order to get in touch with others by sending messages or video calls.

Hence

, the revolution of technology is one of the significant factors which contributes to better life quality.

While

the redeeming features of digital development are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of medical advancement are ignored. Because there are more modern facilities and more excellent doctors, thousands of

lives

have been rescued. To be more particular, during the

covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

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pandemic period,

although

it is a dire disease which was hardly seen before, thousands of

people

have been brought back to life by the doctors’ efforts and advanced infrastructures.

Thus

, health improvement plays

such

a paramount significant role in

people

lives

for the time being. In conclusion, the revolutions of digital and medication are one of

contributors

Add an article

the contributors

show examples

Change preposition

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people

's better

lives

in the 21st

century

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Sun Feb 18 2024

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Task Achievement

Be sure to provide a balanced perspective. While it's great you have a clear stance, also briefly acknowledge counterarguments to create a more comprehensive argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Integrate varied sentence structures and transition words to enhance flow and readability. It will make your essay more engaging and coherent.

Task Achievement

Focus on elaborating your ideas further. After presenting an example or point, delve deeper into its impact or significance to strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training) Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

IN BRITAIN, WHEN SOME ONE GETS OLD THEY OFTEN FO TO LIVE WITH OTHER OLDER PEOPLE WHERE THERE ARE NURSES TO LOOK AFTER THEM. SOMETIMES, GOVERNMENT HAS TO PAY FOR THEIR STAY. WHO DO YOU THINK SHOULD PAY FOR THIS CARE , GOVERNMENT OR FAMILY?

Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important Environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.