IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

24.It is better to save money than to spend it. How far do you agree with this statement? Is saving more important than spending in today’s world? Give reasons for your answer, and provide ideas and examples from your own Write at least 250 word

Urbanisation and modern
life
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 have presented individuals with a number of challenges and decisions.
However
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, the crux of the matter is related to
money
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 management.
While
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 some opine that people should save their
money
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 rather than spend it, in my view, focusing solely on saving
money
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 rather than considering spending it for living happier is not logical. On the one hand,
money
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 management goes a long way in personal growth. So seriously has developing an independent
life
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 affected people’s minds that they strongly believe that saving a small amount of
money
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 each month is one of the must-try ways to benefit from an independent
life
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. Aside from improving their personal growth, it gives them the chance to stand on their own feet, but it
also
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 allows them to feel secure in the years to come, since they have enough
money
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 if they face any challenges in the future.
On the other hand
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,
money
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 is really essential for maintaining mental and emotional health. To clarify, if people put pressure on themselves to save their wealth in their bank account or under the mattress
instead
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 of spending it to make themselves up to maximum happy, it may result in many mental disorders for them, since city
life
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 is full of unforeseen circumstances
due to
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 its fast-paced rate, which can cause tension and aggression among citizens.
Therefore
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, if they do not place a high value on releasing their stress and anxiety by spending their
money
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 on
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and purchasing to recharge their batteries, they may suffer from many mental problems. In conclusion,
although
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 saving
money
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 is a must in
this
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 modern era, it plays a crucial role in providing financial safety. I strongly believe it is not worth negotiating our mental health and enjoyment of the moments by solely saving
money
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.

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grammar
Use short, clear sentences. Break long lines into two parts to grew space.
content
Give 1-2 clear examples from real life to back your idea.
structure
Begin each paragraph with a clear sentence that states the point.
coherence
Use linking words well to show how ideas tie, for example 'but', 'and', 'however'.
task response
You show a clear view on the topic and say what you think.
coherence
There is a plan with an intro, body and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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