Dieting can change a person's life for the better or ruin one's health completely. What is your opinion?

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It is true that changing eating habits in order to lose weight might
consequance
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
in one’s
favor
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favour
show examples
.
However
, unreasonable diets can have detrimental effects on people.
Although
I believe using a plan on food consumption provided by a specialist might improve our condition , I regard exercising as a more prominent factor. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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hand, Avoidant in eating certain types of food in order to maintain a physical
body
shape or, preventing
in
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apply
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some diseases is of high importance.
For example
, consuming
great
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a great
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amount of fat and sugar can cause obesity.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
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a person suffering from drastic weight is more likely to get
blood
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high blood
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pressure, heart strokes, or diabetes. Meanwhile, by appointing
to
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apply
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a dietician, we get the order of
best
Correct article usage
the best
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nutrition that
are
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is
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necessary for our
body
, yet we can overcome obesity.
On the other hand
, some people depend on limited information either
in
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on
show examples
social media or internet websites and without having the knowledge, stick to a program which might hurt their
body
. In the meantime, losing
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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nutrition they even can not reach their aim
in
Change preposition
of
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losing weight and get disappointed in keeping on to the diet.
For instance
, without digesting low
amount
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amounts
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of fat we miss out
many
Change preposition
on many
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vitamins that are vital for the
properly
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proper
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functioning of our
body
meanwhile, some who just surf the net for a program might avoid eating
this
prominent nutrition. In the meantime, I believe attending
in
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apply
show examples
hyper activities and doing sports can
conclude
Verb problem
result
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
better
body
condition and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good care for our health. Many athletes age more
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and live a life
with
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of
show examples
high quality yet, they hardly ever get illnesses.
However
, not many of these athletes conduct a special diet. To recapitulate , we can both
by gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
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a special diet from
dietitian
Add an article
a dietitian
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and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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sports
maintain
Fix the infinitive
to maintain
show examples
a good
body
condition and preserve our healthiness.
Submitted by erfanamouie on

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task achievement
Focus on developing a stronger thesis statement in your introduction that more clearly outlines your opinion and the essay’s structure.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support your main points. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates a range of language ability.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph structure to ensure each has a clear main idea, supported by explanations and examples. This helps in achieving both coherence and task response.
coherence cohesion
Check your essay for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors, as these can impact the clarity of your ideas and overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Consider using linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of the essay and connect your ideas more clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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