In many countries, people now wear Western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development

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Most countries have developed a new fashion for a few decades now. Today people wear suits and jeans coming from different shops, but all the same and really easy to find.
Traditionals
Correct your spelling
Traditional
Replace the word
clothes
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clothings
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clothes
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are mostly used for important
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religious
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religion
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religious
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Fix the agreement mistake
ceremonies
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ceremony
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ceremonies
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,
Change preposition
apply
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for
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apply
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carnaval
Correct your spelling
carnival
or even
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apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
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wedding
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weddings
show examples
. Our generation loves
changement
Correct your spelling
change
. Fashion is something in the short term. We discovered the jeans
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
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years ago , first as a workclothe and now it becomes used as a casual pant.
This
Linking Words
new trend
make
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makes
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everyone
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feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
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more
relax
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relaxed
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than
a traditional clothing
Remove the article
traditional clothing
an article of traditional clothing
an item of traditional clothing
show examples
. I think it is a positive development because
everyone
Use synonyms
is free to wear whatever he likes.That
also
Linking Words
mean
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means
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a lot of
choice
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choices
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on the market about colors and styles. But
for example
Linking Words
in Australia, in private
school student
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schools students
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must wear the same uniform as
everyone
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,
this
Linking Words
is a sort of traditional clothing because it
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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used
since
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for
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ever and it
put
Wrong verb form
puts
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all the students on the same level.
For
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In
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my
opinion
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opinion,
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the generations made traditional clothes hard to wear. Mostly in
those city
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that city
those cities
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where
everyone
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judges you. Imagine, going to work with
this
Linking Words
dress , full of
colors
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colours
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, and your hat with feathers on top. I do not think your coworkers would have
lot
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a lot
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of respect for you. In some
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
traditional clothing is still used and I respect that but most of them do not have a lot of technology
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
see how is the rest of the world .
Submitted by Andrea Barreto on

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detail
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cohesion
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task response
Address all parts of the task more effectively. While you discussed why Western-style dresses are becoming popular and offered your opinion on whether it's a positive development, expanding on these ideas with clearer arguments and examples would improve your task achievement score.
grammar
Review and correct grammatical errors and typos to improve the readability of your essay. Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and proper use of articles.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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