Some people believe that the government should spend more money to creat more art such as paintings and statues, in cities to make them a better place to live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #creat #art #paintings #statues #cities #place

It is conceived by some that devoting more budget to ornament cities with more artistic presentation can lead to living a better life.

This

essay firmly agrees with

this

notion

due to

several advantages of art, namely enhancing social skills and bringing income. First of all, artworks are something that

humans’

Change noun form

humans

show examples

nature is inherently hardwired for. They not only are able to enrich our swamped life through various approaches,

can

Correct word choice

but can

show examples

statistically enhance some competencies including innovation, social cohesion and civic participation. Japan is a prime example in

this

regard which speaks

volume

Fix the agreement mistake

volumes

show examples

. It has been one of the most remarkable pioneers in promoting art in society and academic environment and

as a result

, it has become a country of innovation worldwide.

Furthermore

, what is dramatically significant to consider is

diverse

Correct article usage

the diverse

show examples

job opportunities that will be provided for artists in order to indicate their artworks

Change preposition

show examples

the eye public. Needless to say, making ends meet for art workers has been constantly tough;

thus

, a huge contribution will be made to them and

subsequently

to nations monetarily. Take Paris as an example which has made immeasurable revenue through demonstrating outdoor painting

exibitions

Correct your spelling

exhibitions

exhibition

during the following decade. In conclusion, the benefits of presenting more visual arts in cities have been argued. For the sake of providing quite a few positive consequences,

such

as amplifying interpersonal skills

as well as

raising

finance

Fix the agreement mistake

finances

show examples

it is

therefore

approved.

Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on Mon Feb 19 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt throughout. While you provide a clear viewpoint, focusing more on directly linking your arguments to how art can specifically improve the quality of life in cities will strengthen your task response.

coherence cohesion

To improve logical structure, consider adding more transition phrases between paragraphs and within them to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.

task achievement

Include more detailed examples by elaborating on how specific art projects have directly improved communities or enhanced social cohesion. This will make your examples more relevant and improve the support for your main points.

general

Double-check your essay for any typographical or grammatical errors as these can slightly detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the government should spend more money to creat more art such as paintings and statues, in cities to make them a better place to live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the world cup, and that the money would be better spent on other things. However, others think that hosting large sporting events has a clear, positive impact on a coutry. Discuss both views

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?

Nowadays, learning have gained in popularity but some people argue that courses can never be as good as those taken by attending a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Economic growth is one way to measure a country’s success, but what else should we look at? Which do you think is the most important?