Some people believe that to become successful at a sport requires a natural ability, others think that hardwork and practice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion
There are those who have a view that a significant talent of physical
ability
is essential for great success
in sports
, while
others believe that considerable practice
and training are the keys to higher achievement. While
a natural ability
helps sports
players reach their goals, I strongly believe that practical training and extensive practice
are more important to result in success
with any sport.
Firstly
, one of the major important elements of winning a variety of sports
is teamwork. It is not only for team sports
, including football and basketball, but also
individual sports
such
as,
swimming and golf, as even athletes play individual Remove the comma
apply
sports
, they need to engage with trainers, sponsors, and doctors, as a team, which aims for the same goal. For example
, the Japanese football team beat some worldwide stronger teams like Germany, due to
the immense level of combination play realised by significant effort and practical tactics brought by trainers.
Moreover
, while
a natural ability
, for instance
, body flexibility and physical strength, contributes athletes to achieving their goals, enabling harder practices which are not feasible for general players, the insufficiency of hard training and effort leads to losing games. In practice
, many famous talented sports
players lost the next game just after their great success
, due to
losing motivation to win, which privents
Correct your spelling
prevents
hardwork
. Correct your spelling
hard work
Consequently
, this
lower motivation for success
brought them to their retirement.
In summary, I wholeheartedly agree with the argument that hardwork
, Correct your spelling
hard work
practice
and teamworking
are more important for obtaining Correct your spelling
teamwork
successes
in Fix the agreement mistake
success
sports
. This
effort and higher motivation to develop player's
Correct article usage
a player's
sports
ability
bring them a significant result, compared to merely relying on a natural talent.Submitted by taekojb77 on
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task achievement
Make sure to directly respond to the question prompt in both your introduction and conclusion for a clearer stance. While your position is evident, explicitly asserting it at the beginning and end of the essay reinforces clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure and coherence. However, ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs can enhance readability. Consider using a wider range of linking phrases to connect ideas more fluidly.
task achievement
Incorporate a broader variety of specific and relevant examples to substantiate your arguments. While the examples provided are good, adding more could strengthen your case and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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