Some people believe that to become successful at a sport requires a natural ability, others think that hardwork and practice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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There are those who have a view that a significant talent of physical

ability

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is essential for great

success

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sports

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while

Linking Words

others believe that considerable

practice

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and training are the keys to higher achievement.

While

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a natural

ability

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helps

sports

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players reach their goals, I strongly believe that practical training and extensive

practice

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are more important to result in

success

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with any sport.

Firstly

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, one of the major important elements of winning a variety of

sports

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is teamwork. It is not only for team

sports

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, including football and basketball, but

also

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individual

sports

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such

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

swimming and golf, as even athletes play individual

sports

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, they need to engage with trainers, sponsors, and doctors, as a team, which aims for the same goal.

For example

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, the Japanese football team beat some worldwide stronger teams like Germany,

due to

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the immense level of combination play realised by significant effort and practical tactics brought by trainers.

Moreover

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while

Linking Words

a natural

ability

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for instance

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, body flexibility and physical strength, contributes athletes to achieving their goals, enabling harder practices which are not feasible for general players, the insufficiency of hard training and effort leads to losing games. In

practice

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, many famous talented

sports

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players lost the next game just after their great

success

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due to

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losing motivation to win, which

privents

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prevents

hardwork

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hard work

Consequently

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this

Linking Words

lower motivation for

success

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brought them to their retirement. In summary, I wholeheartedly agree with the argument that

hardwork

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hard work

practice

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and

teamworking

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teamwork

show examples

are more important for obtaining

successes

Fix the agreement mistake

success

show examples

sports

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This

Linking Words

effort and higher motivation to develop

player's

Correct article usage

a player's

show examples

sports

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ability

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bring them a significant result, compared to merely relying on a natural talent.

taekojb77Mon Feb 19 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to directly respond to the question prompt in both your introduction and conclusion for a clearer stance. While your position is evident, explicitly asserting it at the beginning and end of the essay reinforces clarity.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good logical structure and coherence. However, ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs can enhance readability. Consider using a wider range of linking phrases to connect ideas more fluidly.

task achievement

Incorporate a broader variety of specific and relevant examples to substantiate your arguments. While the examples provided are good, adding more could strengthen your case and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Some people believe that to become successful at a sport requires a natural ability, others think that hardwork and practice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some scientists think that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and messages should be sent to contact them. Other scientists think it is a bad idea and would be dangerous. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

write an IELTS essay within at least 250 words with the topic "There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?"

You stayed at your friends’ house when you participated in a business seminar in New Zealand. You left a file with important documents in your room. Write a letter to your friend, describing the file and ask him/her to return it to you by post.

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?