Topic 8: Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

There are a number of arguments to support the idea that students should learn academic
knowledge
to pass exams rather than taking practical
skills
such
as cooking or dressing. I partially agree with the idea.
Firstly
, academic
leraning
Correct your spelling
learning
is essential to be a professional occupation.
For example
,
people
have to learn the
knowledge
and overcome difficult exams to be admitted as the expert. If
people
want to be lawyers, they will work hard to get the
knowledge
relative to law in universities.
As a result
, they can get officially the
cetificate
Correct your spelling
certificate
by graduating from the university and passing the exams.
Additionally
,
while
people
can get many
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to get practical
skills
such
as cooking and dressing, there are limited
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to be taught academic
knowledge
.
This
is because
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
those
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
show examples
teach
accademic
Correct your spelling
academic
knowledge
are demanded
Wrong verb form
demand
show examples
Correct article usage
a heigh
show examples
heigh
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
level of
knowledge
and the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
is not many. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
want to study academically, they need to go to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university or the school
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
they can learn
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
However
, it is important to learn practical
skills
, which is useful in society. In my experience, I had classes of cooking in my school when I was a child. At the time, I learned about not only making cuisine
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
the risk of the accident caused by misusing fire.
This
is essential for everyone and
people
should be taught it in common in advance. In conclusion,
while
some
knowledge
relative to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
practical
skills
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
needed, students should get academic
knowledge
to pass the exam and be
proffessional
Correct your spelling
professional
for
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
reasons. I believe students should focus on
accademic
Correct your spelling
academic
knowledge
rather than practical
skills
because being taught in school leads to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their future directly.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, make sure to address the question directly and provide a clear opinion in the introduction. Develop your argument further by adding more specific examples and clearly stating how they support your point of view.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Use a variety of linking phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs, making your argument easier to follow. Additionally, try to vary sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest.
Language Proficiency
Review the essay for any spelling or grammatical errors to improve overall clarity and professionalism. Pay particular attention to subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and the spelling of key terms.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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