IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women #qualities #jobs
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Both
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
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 have specific
charateristics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
allow
Correct pronoun usage
that allow
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 them to complete different tasks
according to
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 their potential.
Due to
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this
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, there is a controversial discussion is whether it would be best for
both
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 sexes to have a job which
suit
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suits
show examples
 their personal abilities.
However
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, others contend that
both
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 are equal and can do as efficiently as other
gender
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genders
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 can do.
This
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 writer will analyse from
both
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 perspectives to reach
relevant
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a relevant
show examples
 conclusion. It must be acknowledged that males and females have their particular strengths and can perform well in certain tasks.
For example
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,
women
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 tend to be exceptionally good at taking
cares
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care
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 of household activities and children. As they are usually kind, lovely and diligent,
make
Verb problem
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
they
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suited
Add a missing verb
are suited
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 for jobs which require devotion and organisational skills.
Simarly
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Similarly
,
men
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also
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 have special traits related to their physical power and hard mental.
For instance
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, males are more likely to be strong and confident which
enable
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enables
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 them to give excellent performance in areas
such
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 as earning bread and butter, making
decision
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decisions
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 or
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
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the
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apply
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emotional
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emotions
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.
However
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, even though
both
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 genders are good at their field as mentioned, we cannot ignore the changing trend
especially
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, especially
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 in
this
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 era. Nowadays, education is
on
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apply
show examples
a
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apply
show examples
wide spread
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widespread
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,
more
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and more
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 and more
women
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 are breaking the barrier of sexes which now they can undertake the role of
men
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. They can be seen placed
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
serveral
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several
 vital positions, from doctors,
teachers
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and teachers
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 to leaders of the
goverment
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government
movement
. In the same way,
men
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 are
also
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 indulging themselves in household tasks by looking after their children and doing household chores.
Therefore
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, it cannot be said that
both
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
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apply
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genders are best suitable to do only one type of work.
As
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In
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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conclusion, in today’s world
women
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 and
men
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can
Verb problem
are
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 capable of doing any
jobs
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job
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. Excluding a male or a female from a certain profession because of his or her gender doesn't have any logical reason. Believing a gender is not
a
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apply
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suitable for a certain job is just an
out fashioned
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outdated
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 thought. There is no limitation for
the
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apply
show examples
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 in the job market except prejudice.
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Task Achievement
Introduce your essay with a clearer thesis statement that defines your position on the topic explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Increase the clarity of your ideas by using distinct paragraphs for each main point, and clearly signal these transitions.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, rather than general statements. This will help strengthen your task achievement score.
Task Achievement
Ensure the conclusion succinctly summarises your viewpoint and the reasons for it, reinforcing your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check your essay for minor grammatical and spelling errors to enhance readability and overall quality.
Overall
Use a wider range of vocabulary to better express your ideas and demonstrate language proficiency.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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