Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Both
men
and women
have specific charateristics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
allow
them to complete different tasks Correct pronoun usage
that allow
according to
their potential. Due to
this
, there is a controversial discussion is whether it would be best for both
sexes to have a job which suit
their personal abilities. Change the verb form
suits
However
, others contend that both
are equal and can do as efficiently as other gender
can do. Fix the agreement mistake
genders
This
writer will analyse from both
perspectives to reach relevant
conclusion.
It must be acknowledged that males and females have their particular strengths and can perform well in certain tasks. Add an article
a relevant
For example
, women
tend to be exceptionally good at taking cares
of household activities and children. As they are usually kind, lovely and diligent, Fix the agreement mistake
care
make
Verb problem
apply
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
suited
for jobs which require devotion and organisational skills. Add a missing verb
are suited
Simarly
, Correct your spelling
Similarly
men
also
have special traits related to their physical power and hard mental. For instance
, males are more likely to be strong and confident which enable
them to give excellent performance in areas Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
such
as earning bread and butter, making decision
or Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
the
Correct article usage
apply
emotional
.
Replace the word
emotions
However
, even though both
genders are good at their field as mentioned, we cannot ignore the changing trend especially
in Add the comma(s)
, especially
this
era. Nowadays, education is on
Change preposition
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
wide spread
, Correct your spelling
widespread
more
and more Correct word choice
and more
women
are breaking the barrier of sexes which now they can undertake the role of men
. They can be seen placed at
Change preposition
in
serveral
vital positions, from doctors, Correct your spelling
several
teachers
to leaders of the Correct word choice
and teachers
goverment
. In the same way, Correct your spelling
government
movement
men
are also
indulging themselves in household tasks by looking after their children and doing household chores. Therefore
, it cannot be said that both
of
Change preposition
apply
the
genders are best suitable to do only one type of work.
Correct article usage
apply
As
Change preposition
In
a
conclusion, in today’s world Correct article usage
apply
women
and men
can
capable of doing any Verb problem
are
jobs
. Excluding a male or a female from a certain profession because of his or her gender doesn't have any logical reason. Believing a gender is not Fix the agreement mistake
job
a
suitable for a certain job is just an Change the article
apply
out fashioned
thought. There is no limitation for Correct word choice
outdated
the
Correct article usage
apply
men
and women
in the job market except prejudice.Submitted by [email protected] on
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Task Achievement
Introduce your essay with a clearer thesis statement that defines your position on the topic explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Increase the clarity of your ideas by using distinct paragraphs for each main point, and clearly signal these transitions.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, rather than general statements. This will help strengthen your task achievement score.
Task Achievement
Ensure the conclusion succinctly summarises your viewpoint and the reasons for it, reinforcing your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check your essay for minor grammatical and spelling errors to enhance readability and overall quality.
Overall
Use a wider range of vocabulary to better express your ideas and demonstrate language proficiency.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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