Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that because there are different characteristics between
males
and females, so certain occupations are more suitable for males
than their counterparts. As I contend that some jobs
suit men
due to
their better physical health condition, the
occupational Correct article usage
apply
suitability
also
depends on the degree.
On the one hand, it is widely known that there are a few jobs
which are better for males
because they are more athletic. Since the olden days, men
have been scientifically proven to have greater upper body strength, as well as
muscle mass than women, which leads to the outweighed number of males
choosing blue-collar jobs
, such
as workers, masons to their counterparts, making the difference of occupational suitability
among two genders. According to
the New York Times, there are nearly 20 million American men
working as masons, outnumbering the data of around 5 million of
women in Change preposition
apply
this
nation.
On the other hand
, I still believe that a degree determines the suitability
of a job. Due to
the fact that, unlike the old society in the past, when women had to suffer from gender inequality by not being allowed to go to school, in today's age, everyone enjoys the same education from the government, in which
anyone can get a degree if they accomplish the courses well. Because of that, females can absolutely be recruited to any position of Correct pronoun usage
apply
jobs
once they have the qualified profiles.
In conclusion, although
there is a disparity in occupation selection, in which some jobs
have the
higher Correct article usage
a
suitability
for men
, I still assume that there is a significant dependence on qualification when choosing a job.Submitted by [email protected] on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear, logical structure by using paragraphs to separate your ideas clearly. You did this well, but aim to improve transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduce and conclude your essay clearly by summarizing your argument and restating your opinion in the conclusion. You performed well in this area.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or explanations. You've used examples effectively, but providing deeper analysis or more varied examples could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Clearly address the essay prompt and make sure your response covers all aspects of the task. You did well, but ensure that every paragraph directly contributes to answering the question.
Task Achievement
Express clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Your performance was strong in this criterion; using varied sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary can enhance clarity and convey ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
Utilize relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. While your examples were good, incorporating a wider range of evidence can make your argument more compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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