IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#areas #‘curfew’ #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
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n recent years, the government of the U.S. has implemented a rule that the young generation cannot go outside at
night
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time
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 without the accompany of adults. I believe that
this
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 law is perfect for making the pupils safe. The first and foremost reason is the Increasing number of crimes .Nowadays crime rates have been increasing in every part of the world,
due to
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 which late
night
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 curfew is imposed in the U.S. There are various types of criminals who become active at
night
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time
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 to kidnap small
children
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 and young people so they can use them for doing criminal activities. In the starting they involve them in stealing small stuff when they are trained in these things they indulge them in drug deals which is not good for them.
As a result
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, 80% of
children
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 are killed by criminals.
Moreover
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 , It is
also
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 important that teenagers complete their 8 hours of sleep at
night
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 because sleep is a must if they don't get proper sleep they might get so many health issues in the coming
time
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.So they should avoid going outdoors at
night
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time
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instead
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 they can freely play games in the morning and afternoon
time
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.
Furthermore
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 , If they stay at home it will
also
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 work as a stress reliever for their parents, because in the contemporary era , parents have a very very busy schedule in the daytime
time
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 so they can't enjoy their
time
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 with their kids .But when
children
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 won't go outside they can spend some
time
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 with each other which will be helpful to make a strong family bond. in conclusion ,
According to
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 my point of view,
this
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 curfew law is very beneficial for
children
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as well as
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 parents .
Submitted by jass.sekhon4693 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points are clearly linked with transition phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your main points, making your argument more compelling.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides a clear opinion on the curfew law.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, framing the essay well.
task achievement
Main points are relevant to the topic and supported with explanations about safety, sleep, and family bonding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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