In spite of advances made in agricultural, many people around the world still go hungry. what is this the case? what can be done about this problem?
In
this
era, although
farming has increased in all around the world
, there are some communities which are still hungry in the world
. It appears some reasons like lack enough money
and economic policy the government
and inhabitants by collaborating with each other can solve this
problem.
On the one hand, money
and political issues have influenced people
’s life which the main case of being hunger. First of all, money
and policy speak first in all around the world
, so communities should have money
to buy food for themselves. For example
, Iran’s population contributes 1/100 as large as the number of all people
on the earth. Although
it has a good system of agriculture, there are almost 60 million poor people
in the whole country due to
the high inflation rate and interest rate which are on the moon. So, people
can not purchase the ingredients and food for them selves or their families. On the other, Iran faces a lack of job vacancies for young folk because managers do not have enough money
to pay workers and pay money
for ingredients with high prices due to
the high inflation rate which leads the community to be still poor.
However
, there are a wide variety of ways that by collaboration between the government
and residents, this
problem will be solved. Firstly
, the government
should increase more export than import to make more money
and reconstruct economy’s pattern. Followed by investing money
in businesses and the youngster as new force workers. As a result
, job opportunities are grown, and people
have work and salary to pay their expenditure. Also
, we do not have managing money
courses as mandatory subject in schools and universities ,while
it is the most important knowledge for human for survival in these days. Moreover
, if people
are familiar with managing money
, nobody in the world
will be still hungry because of knowing how to handle and spend money
.
In conclusion, hunger and poverty are a controversial issue in the world
, whereas
many countries do not have a health economy. I wish the government
would make a close-knit relationship with people
to solve this
problem.Submitted by dayansabet on
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introduction
Ensure your introduction provides a clear overview of the topics you will discuss. Mention both the causes of the problem and the solutions you propose.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using more varied and clear linking phrases. For instance, transitions like 'furthermore', 'in addition', 'by contrast', could enhance cohesion.
supported main points
Develop your main points by providing more detailed examples and elaborating on how these examples support your arguments. Specific, real-world instances will strengthen your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
When presenting solutions, ensure you fully explore the implications of these solutions. How exactly would they address the causes of hunger you've identified? Expanding on this will improve task achievement.
task achievement
Work on paraphrasing the essay prompt more effectively in your introduction. This not only shows a good command of language but also ensures you fully understand the task at hand.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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