IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the future nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.

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The development of technology provides easier and cheaper access to reading materials. There is a popular opinion that someday
people
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 will stop paying for
books
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 and newspapers because they will get it in the internet for free. But future is here and
people
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 are still buying
books
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,
also
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 phycical
books
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 are known for it
smell
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. These facts make me belive that we will continue purchase offline
books
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. Since we are living for more than 2 decades with internet access the whole new generation has been raised.
According to
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 a recent survey by "ITMO" university on book preferences, 79% of students choose to read printed fiction literature. Respondents say that it is
due to
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 the feeling of leisure, they want to have rest from the screens which are surrounded us everywhere.
Furthermore
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, youth oriented stores
such
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 as "Marvin" (the most popular chain of stores in Kazakhstan) make around 20% of their revenu by book selling.
Also
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, about 35% of space devoted to paper materials
such
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 as
books
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, articles, anime e.t.c. Nothing can replace the wonderful
smell
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 of
books
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 and magnificent joy of touching it. The
smell
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 research by "Harvard" shows that the flavor of paper is most
people
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's favorite.
While
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 contacting and feeling the
smell
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 of a book the dopamine increases by 15%
as well as
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 other hormones responsible for happiness, despite zero growth
while
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 reading e-
books
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. It means that
people
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 I can conclude that
people
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 will continue enjoy reading physical
books
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 and will be willing to pay for it
as well as
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 they pay for other hobbies. Perhaps it will be one of the things that will keep us in real world.

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task achievement
Focus on developing a clear introduction and conclusion that explicitly address the essay prompt. Ensure these sections clearly establish and summarize your argument.
task achievement
Increase the depth and clarity of your main ideas. Ensure your argument fully responds to the essay prompt and discussions extend beyond general statements. Provide a more thorough analysis and justification for your views.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by presenting ideas in a more organized and sequential manner. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with more detailed and specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing to the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Make use of varied linking words and phrases to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs, improving the overall flow of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
What to do next:
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