People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The importance of career development opportunities, individuals should participate to achieve in-demand skills which were always debatable and have now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial
while
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others reject
this
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notion. The substantial influence of
this
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trend has sparked controversy over its potential influence in recent years. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational.
This
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essay will
further
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elaborate positive and negative impacts of
this
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trend and
thus
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will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
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, there are a myriad of reasons that will
further
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explain
this
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argument, but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that Universities and colleges often enhance individuals' careers by providing numerous money-making courses.
For instance
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, MBBS, Engineering and Business Management field fosters campus placements and job training. Another striking benefit in
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regard is that many trade professions consist of minimum academic exposure including, plumbers, car painters and construction workers achieving experience in these fields harnesses maximum chances of financial stability.
Hence
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, it appears that many are in favour of
this
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trend.
However
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, there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments that
such
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educational syllabi emphasize financial conditions, but are unable to motivate fulfilment and self-expression, where many job goers are facing mental health challenges
such
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as
,
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depression and anxiety.
Furthermore
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,
artist
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the artist
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has been working on their art form since their childhood, which helps to secure their specific profession effortlessly. To recapitulate,
according to
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the arguments aforementioned, one can reach the conclusion that the benefits of in-demand courses safeguard financial conditions and provide opportunities for future growth.
Nevertheless
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, its potential drawback should not be overlooked either.
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task response
Your response provides a nuanced view on the topic and acknowledges different viewpoints. However, try to clarify your stance a little more from the beginning to ensure a clearer position throughout the essay.
task response
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Connecting theory with personal or well-known examples can add credibility to your claims.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-structured, adding more transitional phrases may help in improving the flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Continue to develop paragraph unity by ensuring each paragraph centers around a single main idea. This will enhance the coherence of your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize your main points.
task response
You provided well-balanced viewpoints, which shows the depth of your understanding of the topic.
task response
The use of specific fields like MBBS, Engineering, and Business Management as examples adds depth to the discussion.
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