IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some children find some subjects example mathematics and philosophy difficult so these subjects should be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
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 it is true that some subjects
such
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 as mathematics and philosophy can be challenging for some students, making them optional could limit children's
overall
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 intellectual development.
This
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 essay will argue that
although
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 teaching methods should be flexible, these subjects should remain compulsory
due to
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 their long-term benefits. One of the main reasons why they should be compulsory is that they foster essential cognitive skills that are valuable throughout life.
For example
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, mathematics teaches children how to solve problems, analyze data, and think logically. These skills are not only useful in academic settings but
also
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 essential in daily life,
such
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 as managing finances or making decisions that require critical thinking.
For instance
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, when managing household budgets, people must use basic arithmetic to allocate funds to different categories based on their needs,
such
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 as bills, savings, and leisure activities.
Similarly
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, philosophy promotes critical thinking and ethical reasoning, which help students understand complex moral dilemmas and formulate well-rounded opinions. In today's society, where we frequently encounter ethical challenges —
such
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 as those related to technology, privacy, or social justice — these skills are invaluable.
Therefore
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, both subjects contribute significantly to personal development and sound decision-making, and for that reason, they must not be made optional.

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task achievement
Make sure to include a clear counterargument to show awareness of different views.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more frequently to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or details to support your main points.
content
Good explanation of how mathematics and philosophy help in daily life.
structure
Clear structure with an introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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