IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#study #university #students #tuition #fees #people #education
It is widely argued that the extortionate cost of university is a big concern for many
students
 which should be paid off by them during their
education
. Many people believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tuition fees are not affordable
that
Correct word choice
and
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 ought to be free for
the
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apply
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individuals. I strongly agree with
this
 statement and I adhere that free
education
 can be beneficial for both individuals and society.
To begin
 with, at the personal level; tuition fee is a rip-off which has increased inequality in the communities.
This
 is everyone’s right to have access to
the
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apply
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free
education
 without having financial worries.
Furthermore
, the
students
 would allocate more time
on
Change preposition
to
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 studying rather than working
due to
 not having financial concerns.
For instance
, more than one
quarters
Fix the agreement mistake
quarter
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 of
students
 across the globe are working either full-time or part-time to pay their universities’ expenses. In our advanced world, access to
the
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apply
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tertiary
education
,
therefore
, should not be limited at all. At the society level, free universities will release more educated people and the country can become more professional in various fields.
In other words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 higher proportion of
state
Correct article usage
the state
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 budget should be allocated
on
Change preposition
to
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 facilitating everyone with higher
education
. The individuals will become more skilled and knowledgeable in the long run.
Hence
, educated people could lead to economic
prosperous
Replace the word
prosperity
show examples
 for all communities. All things considered, free university
education
 will be beneficial for both
students
 and
the
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apply
show examples
societies in the long run.
Also
, the
students
 will become more educated without feeling any
discriminations
Fix the agreement mistake
discrimination
show examples
. Personally, I believe that the expenses of free university
education
 will be recouped
over
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apply
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by leading a prosperous community in the future.
Submitted by alperenyakut on

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Task Achievement
For a higher score in Task Achievement, ensure your essay directly addresses the question throughout, with clear and comprehensive ideas. While your essay presents a strong opinion, incorporating more varied and detailed examples to support your main points could enhance the relevance and depth of your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, aim for a smoother transition between ideas and paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and ensure paragraphs flow together logically. Also, avoid any redundancy in expressions, aiming for clear and concise phrasing.
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