Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

Part of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

belives

Correct your spelling

believes

show examples

that it is reasonable for

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

stars to earn a higher income than other paramount professionals in a nation

while

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

question its fairness. In my conviction, they are devoting their whole

life

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show examples

these

sports

and most of them are taking higher risks at their work ,

while

some claim sporting role models will keep their children away from

education

Hence

, I

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

highly achieved

sport

personal

Replace the word

personnel

show examples

deserves a better

earning

Fix the agreement mistake

earnings

show examples

and it is fully reasonable to get it over other professionals. To commence with , people try to

peenalized

Correct your spelling

specialized

sport

personal on

educational

Add an article

the educational

show examples

ground

Fix the agreement mistake

grounds

show examples

.They argue that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

children would not learn properly

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

sports

. On the

countrary

Correct your spelling

contrary

, children argue that they can earn more with

sports

thus

parents consider having

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

income

Change preposition

for

show examples

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

personal as a burden to give a proper

education

for their

childern

Correct your spelling

children

However

for instance

famouse

Correct your spelling

famous

Sri Lankan cricketer Kumar Sangakkara is

Change the article

show examples

Accountant in his academic qualification and his fame

develop

Wrong verb form

developed

show examples

internationaly

Correct your spelling

internationally

international

not only

due to

his

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

talents

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but owing to his expressed maturity

due to

his good educational background.

Thus

sportment

Correct your spelling

sporting

need to have a better

education

hence

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

unethical to

critisize

Correct your spelling

criticize

criticise

them on their wages.

On the other hand

, these

sussessful

Correct your spelling

successful

payers devote their whole

life

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

their skills , and they put

theirselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

in danger for the

bettermen

Correct your spelling

betterment

of the

sport

many times. Some individuals miss their families

Change preposition

for

show examples

months

due to

foriegn

Correct your spelling

foreign

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

tours and there are others who lost their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

due to

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

injuries.

For example

, one of the famous

cricketer

Change to a plural noun

cricketers

show examples

in South Africa lost his

life

due to

a head injury during a cricket match

Change preposition

show examples

2020

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show examples

Adelaid

Correct your spelling

Adelaide

ground.

Thus

, these hard

workig

Correct your spelling

working

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

needed to have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better pay for their commitment and I believe

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

totally

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a good thing. In

conclution

Correct your spelling

conclusion

,the belief

Change preposition

show examples

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

can affect

education

and

therefore

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

life

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

personal in

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

background as a bad motive cannot

consider

Wrong verb form

be considered

show examples

todays

Correct your spelling

today

contest and their dedication

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

bettermen

Correct your spelling

better

of the

sport

putting their

life

in danger,

defenetly

Correct your spelling

definitely

deserve a better payment than other professions. As

such

this

writer is in

strong

Add an article

the strong

show examples

notion that

sports

professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions as a

justifable

Correct your spelling

justifiable

fact.

Submitted by dinaka0001 on Tue Feb 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure

Focus on structuring your essay into clear paragraphs, each discussing a specific aspect of the topic. Your introduction could more explicitly state the essay's structure and your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points.

introduction conclusion present

Ensure your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion. Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion, while your conclusion should restate your viewpoint, ensuring there is no new information introduced.

supported main points

Support your main points with detailed examples and explanations. While you provided some examples, strive for more depth and specific details to strengthen your argument.

complete response

Fully address all parts of the task, making sure to discuss both views and provide your own opinion. Ensure your response is complete by clearly stating and supporting your viewpoint throughout the essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

Work on articulating your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Consider organizing your thoughts before writing and focus on clarity to make your argument more persuasive.

relevant specific examples

Integrate more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your arguments. While you use examples, further specificity could enhance your essay's persuasiveness.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
60Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

384 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging for products they sell. Others say it is the resposibility of the consumers to avoid such products. Discuss and give your opinion.

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Environmental problems such as pollution and climatic variations are increasing nowadays. The governments have taken some measures at a global level. But they got only few solutions. Why is it so? How can this problem be solved?

Some people think that there should be strict laws to control the amount of noise a person makes because of the disturbance it causes to people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages