Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Part of
the
society Correct article usage
apply
belives
that it is reasonable for Correct your spelling
believes
sport
stars to earn a higher income than other paramount professionals in a nation Change the noun form
sports
while
other
question its fairness.
In my conviction, they are devoting their whole Fix the agreement mistake
others
life
in
these Change preposition
to
sports
and most of them are taking higher risks at their work ,while
some claim sporting role models will keep their children away from education
.Hence
, I beleive
highly achieved Correct your spelling
believe
sport
personal
deserves a better Replace the word
personnel
earning
and it is fully reasonable to get it over other professionals.
To commence with , people try to Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
peenalized
Correct your spelling
specialized
sport
personal on educational
Add an article
the educational
ground
.They argue thatFix the agreement mistake
grounds
,
children would not learn properlyRemove the comma
apply
,
if they Remove the comma
apply
are
Wrong verb form
were
in to
more Join the words
into
sports
. On the countrary
, children argue that they can earn more with Correct your spelling
contrary
sports
, thus
parents consider having high
income Correct article usage
a high
to
Change preposition
for
sport
personal as a burden to give a proper Fix the agreement mistake
sports
education
for their childern
. Correct your spelling
children
However
, for instance
, famouse
Sri Lankan cricketer Kumar Sangakkara is Correct your spelling
famous
a
Accountant in his academic qualification and his fame Change the article
an
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
internationaly
not only Correct your spelling
internationally
international
due to
his sport
talentsChange the noun form
sports
,
but owing to his expressed maturity Remove the comma
apply
due to
his good educational background. Thus
sportment
need to have a better Correct your spelling
sporting
education
,hence
its
unethical to Replace the word
it's
it is
critisize
them on their wages.
Correct your spelling
criticize
criticise
On the other hand
, these sussessful
payers devote their whole Correct your spelling
successful
life
to develop
their skills , and they put Wrong verb form
developing
theirselves
in danger for the Correct your spelling
themselves
bettermen
of the Correct your spelling
betterment
sport
many times. Some individuals miss their families in
months Change preposition
for
due to
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
sport
tours and there are others who lost their Change the noun form
sports
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
due to
sport
injuries. Change the noun form
sports
For example
, one of the famous cricketer
in South Africa lost his Change to a plural noun
cricketers
life
due to
a head injury during a cricket match at
2020 Change preposition
in
in
Change preposition
at
Adelaid
ground. Correct your spelling
Adelaide
Thus
, these hard workig
Correct your spelling
working
sportmen
needed to have Correct your spelling
sportsmen
a
better pay for their commitment and I believe Remove the article
apply
its
totally Replace the word
it's
it is
as
a good thing.
In Change preposition
apply
conclution
,the belief Correct your spelling
conclusion
of
Change preposition
in
sport
can affect Fix the agreement mistake
sports
education
and therefore
better
Correct article usage
a better
life
in sport
personal in Fix the agreement mistake
sports
economical
background as a bad motive cannot Replace the word
economic
consider
in Wrong verb form
be considered
todays
contest and their dedication Correct your spelling
today
for
the Change preposition
to
bettermen
of the Correct your spelling
better
sport
putting their life
in danger, defenetly
deserve a better payment than other professions. As Correct your spelling
definitely
such
this
writer is in strong
notion that Add an article
the strong
sports
professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions as a justifable
fact.Correct your spelling
justifiable
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logical structure
Focus on structuring your essay into clear paragraphs, each discussing a specific aspect of the topic. Your introduction could more explicitly state the essay's structure and your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion. Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion, while your conclusion should restate your viewpoint, ensuring there is no new information introduced.
supported main points
Support your main points with detailed examples and explanations. While you provided some examples, strive for more depth and specific details to strengthen your argument.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task, making sure to discuss both views and provide your own opinion. Ensure your response is complete by clearly stating and supporting your viewpoint throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on articulating your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Consider organizing your thoughts before writing and focus on clarity to make your argument more persuasive.
relevant specific examples
Integrate more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your arguments. While you use examples, further specificity could enhance your essay's persuasiveness.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example