Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Part of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

belives

Correct your spelling

believes

show examples

that it is reasonable for

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

stars to earn a higher income than other paramount professionals in a nation

while

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

question its fairness. In my conviction, they are devoting their whole

life

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

these

sports

Use synonyms

and most of them are taking higher risks at their work ,

while

Linking Words

some claim sporting role models will keep their children away from

education

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

, I

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

highly achieved

sport

Use synonyms

personal

Replace the word

personnel

show examples

deserves a better

earning

Fix the agreement mistake

earnings

show examples

and it is fully reasonable to get it over other professionals. To commence with , people try to

peenalized

Correct your spelling

specialized

sport

Use synonyms

personal on

educational

Add an article

the educational

show examples

ground

Fix the agreement mistake

grounds

show examples

.They argue that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

children would not learn properly

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

. On the

countrary

Correct your spelling

contrary

, children argue that they can earn more with

sports

Use synonyms

thus

Linking Words

parents consider having

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

income

Change preposition

for

show examples

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

personal as a burden to give a proper

education

Use synonyms

for their

childern

Correct your spelling

children

However

Linking Words

for instance

Linking Words

famouse

Correct your spelling

famous

Sri Lankan cricketer Kumar Sangakkara is

Change the article

show examples

Accountant in his academic qualification and his fame

develop

Wrong verb form

developed

show examples

internationaly

Correct your spelling

internationally

international

not only

due to

Linking Words

his

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

talents

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but owing to his expressed maturity

due to

Linking Words

his good educational background.

Thus

Linking Words

sportment

Correct your spelling

sporting

need to have a better

education

Use synonyms

hence

Linking Words

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

unethical to

critisize

Correct your spelling

criticize

criticise

them on their wages.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, these

sussessful

Correct your spelling

successful

payers devote their whole

life

Use synonyms

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

their skills , and they put

theirselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

in danger for the

bettermen

Correct your spelling

betterment

of the

sport

Use synonyms

many times. Some individuals miss their families

Change preposition

for

show examples

months

due to

Linking Words

foriegn

Correct your spelling

foreign

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

tours and there are others who lost their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

due to

Linking Words

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

injuries.

For example

Linking Words

, one of the famous

cricketer

Change to a plural noun

cricketers

show examples

in South Africa lost his

life

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

a head injury during a cricket match

Change preposition

show examples

2020

Change preposition

show examples

Adelaid

Correct your spelling

Adelaide

ground.

Thus

Linking Words

, these hard

workig

Correct your spelling

working

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

needed to have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better pay for their commitment and I believe

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

totally

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a good thing. In

conclution

Correct your spelling

conclusion

,the belief

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

can affect

education

Use synonyms

and

therefore

Linking Words

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

life

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

personal in

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

background as a bad motive cannot

consider

Wrong verb form

be considered

show examples

todays

Correct your spelling

today

contest and their dedication

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

bettermen

Correct your spelling

better

of the

sport

Use synonyms

putting their

life

Use synonyms

in danger,

defenetly

Correct your spelling

definitely

deserve a better payment than other professions. As

such

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

writer is in

strong

Add an article

the strong

show examples

notion that

sports

Use synonyms

professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions as a

justifable

Correct your spelling

justifiable

fact.

dinaka0001Tue Feb 20 2024

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logical structure

Focus on structuring your essay into clear paragraphs, each discussing a specific aspect of the topic. Your introduction could more explicitly state the essay's structure and your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points.

introduction conclusion present

Ensure your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion. Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion, while your conclusion should restate your viewpoint, ensuring there is no new information introduced.

supported main points

Support your main points with detailed examples and explanations. While you provided some examples, strive for more depth and specific details to strengthen your argument.

complete response

Fully address all parts of the task, making sure to discuss both views and provide your own opinion. Ensure your response is complete by clearly stating and supporting your viewpoint throughout the essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

Work on articulating your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Consider organizing your thoughts before writing and focus on clarity to make your argument more persuasive.

relevant specific examples

Integrate more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your arguments. While you use examples, further specificity could enhance your essay's persuasiveness.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
60
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

384 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You forgot an item of clothing at the hotel where you stayed recently. Write a letter to the hotel manager and include the following: – When did you stay and in what room? – Describe the item you left behind. – What would you like the manager to do about it?

N All over the world societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem effects both children and adults. What are the reason for this rise in obesity. How could it be tackled?