At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
and
withdrawns
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
of the bigger amount of younger generations over elderly
ones
. Supporters claim that it has many possible pros for the
country
, but their opponents highlight the difficulties the government may face.
This
paper will attempt to examine both sides of the argument. Today, the high number of new
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
in the
country
's population is a huge achievement. First of all, teenagers and
adolscents
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adolescents
have more energy and skills for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future development. The ability to integrate new technologies
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
every part of life is the strongest side of them, which allows to boost
the
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apply
show examples
productivity and creativity.
Secondly
, the set of mind
consisted
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
of
tolerancy
Correct your spelling
tolerance
and empathy will help to solve
th
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the
world
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world's
show examples
political
crysises
Correct your spelling
crisis
crises
and stop current wars. At the same time,
this
generation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
many problems with
concentration
Replace the word
concentrating
show examples
on one task and the lack of responsibility
due to
too
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
lifestyle. After dealing with them, I think younger people will change the world for the better.
Consequently
,
old
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the old
show examples
generation
cannot be neglected. Thanks to their experience and knowledge they may
giude
Correct your spelling
guide
younger
ones
through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life, but sometimes the
eldrely
Correct your spelling
elderly
people cannot follow current trends, which puts them aside.
Also
,
due to
their age, the disability to work makes
country
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the country
show examples
responsible for their quality of life. Many governments cannot provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
ones
,
that is
why the taxes become higher and higher every year. In conclusion, of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
the energy of
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
generation
is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fuel for the
country
, but at the same time, the
wise
Replace the word
wisdom
show examples
and the experience of
elderly
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the elderly
show examples
ones
cannot be left behind. Every system in the world should boost the
youngers
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younger
show examples
and respect the elders to support
fast
Add an article
the fast
a fast
show examples
path of
the
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apply
show examples
development.
Submitted by dasha.20032854 on

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task achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses the question asked. Your introduction should more clearly outline the advantages and disadvantages that will be discussed.
task achievement
Use a wide range of sentence structures and lexical resources. While your essay presents ideas, incorporating richer vocabulary and varying sentence constructions could enhance clarity and engagement.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph clearly follows from the one before. Using transitional phrases can help achieve this.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples. This will not only solidify your arguments but also make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Check for typographical and grammatical errors. These can distract from the overall quality and coherence of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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