IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Recent developments in technology have greatly changed our way of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Technological
progress
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 has had significant
impacts
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 on our
lives
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 in various ways. Some
people
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 argue that these
impacts
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 are positive for us. I agree to a certain extent with
this
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 view.
While
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 there may be some convincing reasons why
this
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progress
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 negatively affects our
lives
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, the reasons why
this
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progress
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 has positive
impacts
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 are more significant. On the one hand, the
progress
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 of
technology
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 has some drawbacks.
Firstly
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,
this
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progress
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 could increase the initial cost of
people
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’s
lives
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.
Although
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 many convenient appliances like washing machines and refrigerators were available thanks to
this
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progress
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,
people
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 had to spend a lot of money introducing them into their
lives
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.
Secondly
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,
this
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progress
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 has widened digital disparities across generations.
For example
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, elderly
people
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 tend to take a long
time
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 to acquire and understand new
technology
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 skills:
how
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and how
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 to use smartphones and other digital devices.
Thus
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, the number of
people
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 who can receive benefits might be limited to the younger generations.
On the other hand
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, the
progress
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 of
technology
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 has more benefits.
Firstly
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,
this
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progress
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 could save
time
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 in
people
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’s
lives
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.
For instance
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, appliances like washing machines and microwaves could reduce the
time
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 spent on housework.
As a result
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,
people
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 might spend their
time
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 on their studies, work, and hobbies.
Secondly
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,
this
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progress
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 has positively changed the way we communicate. The development of communication tools,
such
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 as social media and online chat, contributed to smoother contact among individuals who are physically apart from each other. In conclusion, I believe that the
progress
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 of
technology
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 has positive
impacts
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 on our
lives
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 because,
while
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 there are some drawbacks temporarily, the benefits are more considerable from a long-term perspective.

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task achievement
Consider developing your ideas further, especially in the main points. While you have a clear argument, adding more depth to your examples can enhance your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all your points clearly link back to your thesis statement. This will help improve the cohesion of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly presents your stance and outlines the structure of the essay, which is very effective for the reader.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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