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Band 5.5

the pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years #information #features #comparisons
The provided pie charts compare the types of devices used to watch
television
 by 18 to
25 years old
Correct your spelling
25-year-old
 respondents in Canada in the years 2009 and 2019. In 2009,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the sample used conventional TVs (34%) as their preferred device to watch
television
,
while
 the smallest proportion used tablets (5%). Fast forward to 2019,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 landscape has shifted. The Flat-screen
TV
 (27%) became the most popular device to watch
television
,
in contrast
 to conventional
TV
 (4%) as the least preferable type of
devices
Fix the agreement mistake
device
show examples
. In 2009, conventional TVs
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the most predominant device to watch
television
 at 34%, followed by laptops at 20%.
Next,
desktop
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 and mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
each
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 used by 18% and 15% of the total respondents respectively.
In contrast
, flat-screen
tv
Fix the agreement mistake
TVs
show examples
 and tablets were the least used types of devices, accounting for 8% and 5% respectively. In 2019, the
usage
 of flat-screen
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 to watch
television
 soared to 27%.
Moreover
, the popularity of mobile
phones
Change the noun form
phone
show examples
usage
 rose to 26%, and tablets to 19%.
On the contrary
, the
usage
 of laptops and desktop computers both decreased to 12% and 12% respectively.
Lastly
, there was a significant drop
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
usage
 in conventional
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
, which was used by only 4% of the sample during
this
 period.
Submitted by skripsinana8 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words television, tv, usage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

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