In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

#cultures #children #massage

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Over the past few years, there has been an upward trend in the percentage of

this

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belief about

children

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in some cultures. Some

people

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believe that it is a good

way

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to raise

children

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and their independence.

While

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other

people

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claim that it is not a good

way

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to raise

children

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and they should spend a natural process during their lives.

This

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essay will

further

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elaborate my views for

favoring

Change the spelling

favouring

show examples

the impacts and

thus

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, will lead to a logical conclusion. On the one hand, some parents admit that

this

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culture is extremely good and their

children

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should try hard to obtain anything. so that

children

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learn how they will be independent.

Furthermore

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children

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learn about being responsible.

Moreover

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, a great deal of

children

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face failure or success in the growth

way

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, they derive a lot of experiences and learn to achieve goals by asking for advice from successful adults.

For example

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, a considerable amount of

children

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know that in adulthood how to obtain their ambitions because they have many experiences and have a good idea for doing their things and how to be a successful adult and they are not vulnerable

people

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On the other hand

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, some parents believe that their

children

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should have a normal procedure in their lives because they admittedly agree that their

children

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should not face plenty of hard work.

Furthermore

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children

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may not do their things, they will be depressed and lose their confidence.

Moreover

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this

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causes them to be perfectionist

people

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and they face every problem, they feel be failed. In conclusion, considering both sides of the subject, I am inclined to believe that

this

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culture is a good

way

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to train

children

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to achieve their goals, but we should not forget that, some

children

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do not have adequate ability to do hard things to obtain their goals.

Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on Tue Feb 20 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and briefly outlines your position on it to provide a roadmap for the reader. Adding a thesis statement could strengthen your introduction.

Task Achievement

To elevate your task achievement score, aim to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This adds weight to your points and makes your essay more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize your essay in a clear logical structure, starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs each dedicated to a particular point (advantage or disadvantage), and conclude nicely summarizing your view. This enhances readability.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance coherence by improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words to show the relationship between ideas, making your essay flow more smoothly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Revise your essay for grammatical errors and unclear expressions. Clear, error-free writing contributes to the coherence and overall professional presentation of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Encouragement
Motivation
Determination
Work Ethic
Persistence
Self-esteem
Confidence
Challenges
Unrealistic Expectations
Disappointment
Frustration
Limitations
External Factors
Pressure
Stress
Anxiety
Mental Health

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Fully explain your ideas

It is difficult for many people to create a balance between their professional and their personal life. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Families who send their children to private school should not be required to pay taxes that support the state educational system Do you agree or disagree?

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.