In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?
Over the past few years, there has been an upward trend in the percentage of
this
belief about children
in some cultures. Some people
believe that it is a good way
to raise children
and their independence. While
other people
claim that it is not a good way
to raise children
and they should spend a natural process during their lives. This
essay will further
elaborate my views for favoring
the impacts and Change the spelling
favouring
thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion.
On the one hand, some parents admit that this
culture is extremely good and their children
should try hard to obtain anything. so that children
learn how they will be independent. Furthermore
, children
learn about being responsible. Moreover
, a great deal of children
face failure or success in the growth way
, they derive a lot of experiences and learn to achieve goals by asking for advice from successful adults. For example
, a considerable amount of children
know that in adulthood how to obtain their ambitions because they have many experiences and have a good idea for doing their things and how to be a successful adult and they are not vulnerable people
.
On the other hand
, some parents believe that their children
should have a normal procedure in their lives because they admittedly agree that their children
should not face plenty of hard work. Furthermore
, children
may not do their things, they will be depressed and lose their confidence. Moreover
, this
causes them to be perfectionist people
and they face every problem, they feel be failed.
In conclusion, considering both sides of the subject, I am inclined to believe that this
culture is a good way
to train children
to achieve their goals, but we should not forget that, some children
do not have adequate ability to do hard things to obtain their goals.Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on
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Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay in a clear logical structure, starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs each dedicated to a particular point (advantage or disadvantage), and conclude nicely summarizing your view. This enhances readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence by improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words to show the relationship between ideas, making your essay flow more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revise your essay for grammatical errors and unclear expressions. Clear, error-free writing contributes to the coherence and overall professional presentation of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.