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Band 2.5

Nowadays it is not only large companies that can make films. Digital technology enables anyone to produce films. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#companies #films #technology #anyone #development
Many people have different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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 about
school
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
. Somebody like it, somebody
prefer
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prefers
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 something more usual. The aim of my project is to find out what
teenagers
 in Zetland think about
school
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
.
According to
 data that I have just made, the most number of
teenagers
likes
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like
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 wearing it,
this
 is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opinion of 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
respondents
.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
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 group of
respondents
 think that
uniform
 is something that they need to do, like homework. 24
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of
respondents
 have chosen
this
 opinion. More than 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
respondents
feels
Change the verb form
feel
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 uncomfortable
while
 wearing
uniform
Add an article
a uniform
the uniform
show examples
 and about 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
regarding
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regard
show examples
 it
outdated
Change preposition
as outdated
show examples
.
School
uniform
 is something usual and boring today, many people just don’t like wearing it because of its official style. Many
teenagers
 like more streetwear
style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
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 in clothes, like jeans and hoodies. I think that if somebody will do it in more usual
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
 style, many
teenagers
 would like to wear it. In conclusion, I think that
school
uniform
 is
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 important part of
school
 discipline,
dress
Correct word choice
and dress
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 code is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 important part of discipline
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
. But in our time, it is not something usual, most quantity f people don’t wear it
Submitted by dulskywork on

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Task Response
Focus more closely on the assigned topic, which was about the impact of digital technology on film production, not school uniforms. This mismatch indicates a problem with understanding or following the task. To improve, ensure you read and respond directly to the essay question given.
Task Response
Develop your ideas more thoroughly with clear, focused examples relevant to the topic. Your examples should directly support your stance on the topic, demonstrating why you think the development is positive or negative.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay more clearly by using paragraphs to separate different ideas. Start with an introduction that presents your main argument, followed by body paragraphs that dive into your points in detail, and conclude with a summary of your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve cohesion by using linking words or phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader understand how your ideas relate to one another and your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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