IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year.While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, ,many believe that other meausres will be needed. Discuss both sides.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In some countries, serious offences appear to be increasing each year. Some argue that capital punishment is the strongest deterrent,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe broader social policies are required. I believe the ultimate penalty may be justified in a small number of extreme cases, but lasting public safety depends more on prevention, legal education and rehabilitation. The case for execution is based mainly on deterrence and protection. When an offender commits murder or a terrorist attack, society may need a sanction severe enough to reflect the gravity of the harm. A life sentence can keep that person away from the public for many years, but supporters worry that a dangerous prisoner might eventually be released and offend again. The possibility of execution may
also
Linking Words
 make potential offenders think twice before carrying out violent acts, since they know the consequences could be irreversible.
However
Linking Words
, harsh sentencing alone cannot deal with the conditions that lead people into unlawful behaviour. In poor communities, young people who cannot find stable work may be drawn into theft, robbery or drug dealing because these activities seem to offer quick money. A preventive strategy would provide vocational training, job creation and basic income support, giving them a lawful route to a decent life.
Such
Linking Words
 policies reduce the motivation to break the law before harm is done. Education and rehabilitation are equally important. Schools can teach teenagers about violence, fraud and property offences, allowing them to understand how a criminal record can damage future study and employment. For those already in prison, counselling and skills programmes can help them accept responsibility, learn a trade and prepare for release.
This
Linking Words
 lowers the risk of reoffending, which helps protect society more sustainably than relying only on the fear of severe punishment. In conclusion, capital punishment may deter the most extreme violence, but it should not be treated as the main answer to rising offending. Governments should combine necessary penalties with policies that improve living conditions, build legal awareness and help prisoners return safely to society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, add one more direct reason for the side you support, so your view is even more clear.
task response
For task response, use one very clear real or simple example to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some long sentences can be cut into two shorter ones for easier reading.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link a few ideas with simple words like 'First', 'Also', and 'As a result'.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view clearly.
task response
Your ideas are clear and stay on the topic in all parts of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea and good support.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: