Obesity is a major problem especially for children. What are the causes and the possible solutions.
Nowadays, high weight in
children
become a major problem for many reasons. Moreover
, in this
easy, I'm going. To tackle this
concerning issue discuss the causes of impact and find viable remedies.
On the one hand, playing video games and sitting in front of the TV for a long time
are the main causes of obesity and other diseases .Firstly
,the parents should set a schedule for the children
about the time
to watch the television and play games. To explain, the child needs to do some activities to improve their mind and his body by doing practical exercises.A recent research conducted by suhar
University shows that 80% of Change the capitalization
Suhar
children
who had physical exercise have healthy bodies. Therefore
,joining the children
in the gym can help the children
ride from obesity and many other diseases
On the other hand
,many children
nowadays eat unhealthy fast food because their parents work for a long time
during the day.So in this
case, the parents should cook healthy food for their child during the weekend for all weekdays.Another Solution is to let the child do some sports exercise, for example
,playing football or riding a bike.
In conclusion, most children
spend a long time
sitting on the sofa rather than going outside and walking. Therefore
, this
essay shows that the main cause of obesity is the lack of exercise and bad eating habits.Submitted by safia-93s on
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Task Achievement
Consider starting with a clearer introduction that directly addresses the essay question, stating the causes and solutions of obesity in children. This sets a strong foundation for your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea for clarity.
Task Achievement
Ensure there is a clear conclusion that summarises the cause and solutions discussed in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid spelling and grammar mistakes by proofreading your essay. Words like 'easy' instead of 'essay' can decrease the clarity of your message.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Mentioning studies is good, but adding details about the study enhances credibility.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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