Some people say that what people do to protect the environment cannot make a difference

#people #environment #difference

Whether it is possible to protect the environment is a highly subjective discussion point.

However

, from

this

writer's experience, it is useful to preserve the natural habitat

due to

advances in technology and public awareness, despite those who believe that

this

may not work. It must be understood that the world’s technological system is developed.

This

due to

significant investment in science and technique. With

this

in mind, people may find it possible to find out the causes of habitat destruction, and

then

look for solutions to tackle these problems.

Consequently

, the opportunities are more substantial to prevent

further

disasters, leading to an enhanced way of living.

However

, some people think that environmental protection is more than scientific action but about the cost of advancements in the world.

In other words

, the development may require the usage of natural resources, which have a negative effect on nature. They are right to a certain extent, but these problems can

also

be solved by the governments by using renewable sources like solar energy, biomass and icy stone. From

this

writer’s experience, the communities are better acted for the environment by being educated at school.

This

is because they may have more chances to access environmental attention and deal with the challenges worldwide.

Moreover

, they can

also

launch campaigns or

Change preposition

apply

show examples

through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

advertising to improve the responsibility of people and cooperate in order to create a peaceful world.

Hence

, the writer is swayed by public actions, as an effective way to pressure issues. Clearly,

this

essay has shown that the main factors which protect the ecosystem are technology and educating the public.

Therefore

, to maintain a sustainable life for future generations.

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay does a good job at addressing the topic, but consider including more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For example, mention specific technological advances that help the environment or particular educational programs that raise awareness.

task achievement

Work on developing clear, comprehensive ideas. In some paragraphs, your points could be elaborated more thoroughly. For instance, you could explain more about how public awareness campaigns work or provide data on their effectiveness.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and fully expands on it. This will improve the logical progression of your argument. There are moments in your essay where it feels like you're touching on several points at once, which can disrupt the flow.

coherence cohesion

You have a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which gives a clear framework to your essay. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good attempt at structuring logical arguments and breaking down the issue into smaller parts. You effectively discuss both the technological aspect and the importance of public awareness, which shows balanced thinking.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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