Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your experience.

#people #money #happiness #importance #answers

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Some people believe that money is

the

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apply

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paramount to

happiness

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Although

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it contributes to the well-being of

individual

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individuals

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as it helps provide

the

Correct article usage

apply

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basic needs

such

Linking Words

as food, clothing, and other necessities, it does not guarantee

happiness

Use synonyms

. Rather, relationships with people and good

health

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are

one

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of the keys to a happy

life

Use synonyms

To begin

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with, not everyone who is wealthy is happy.

For instance

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, a lot of artists fall into depression despite the fame and wealth they have.

This

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only proves that

one

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cannot buy

happiness

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On the contrary

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one

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of the keys to a happy

life

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is a sincere and loving

relationships

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relationship

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with family and friends. It is about having a sincere companion during

life

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trials and challenges.

For instance

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, when a person feels gloomy, he goes out to see his loved ones and friends in order to boost his mood.

Thus

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, these healthy connections

makes

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make

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people happy. Aside from relationships, having

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apply

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good

health

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is another factor

to achieve

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in achieving

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joy in

life

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. It is something that money cannot replace. Deliberating sickness does not only incapacitate a person physically but

also

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affects the mental well-being of

Correct article usage

the individual

show examples

individual

Correct article usage

the individual

show examples

For example

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, when someone

have

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has

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cancer, it will be hard for him to find joy in

life

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as he would be more focused on his pain.

Hence

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, having

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apply

show examples

good

health

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importanct

Correct your spelling

important

one

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's physical and mental well-being. In conclusion, though money provides the

bacsics

Correct your spelling

basics

basic

needs of

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

, it does not ensure

happiness

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. There are many avenues to

happines

Correct your spelling

happiness

such

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as loving family and friends and good

health

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, other than the momentary high you get from shopping.

Submitted by yoko.onerom on Wed Feb 21 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, it's crucial to directly address the essay question in your introduction and develop your argument more explicitly throughout the essay. Provide clear, comprehensive explanations and elaborate on how your examples support your ideas to strengthen your response.

Coherence

Enhance your essay's coherence by ensuring a logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Use a variety of transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. This will make your arguments easier to follow and understand.

Cohesion

For better cohesion, it helps to structure your essay more clearly. Include an introduction that outlines your main points, well-developed body paragraphs that elaborate on these points with examples and explanations, and a conclusion that summarises your ideas. This structure should be clearly signaled to the reader through your use of paragraphs and linking words.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your experience.

Your opinion

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

International travel is cheaper and more convenient than ever. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages.