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Band 7

Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality
Popular
people
 like famous actors or sports personalities have an effect on others by bringing both difficulties and benefits.
This
 essay claims that celebrities bring more benefits than
problems
 and will examine the reasons in the next paragraphs. First of all, almost every person on
this
 earth has his favourite actors, singers, models or sportsmen that are popular in our particular country or in
this
 world. Individuals are motivated by them, to repeat their everyday life where a lot of physical activity, practice and useful qualities in order to be similar to them.
Moreover
, some
people
 find their passion, lifelong work or hobby.
For example
, my little sister likes K-pop. As everyone knows, k-pop is that kind of style, where singers not only sing songs but
also
 dance,
hence
 thanks to K-pop my little sister started to dance and nowadays dancing is her passion.
In addition
 to
this
,
people
 who are obsessed with the sport get inspiration from popular sports personalities
as well as
 make efforts to achieve their results.
That is
 why, famous individuals are able to inspire others.
Secondly
, more and more
people
 get a lot of happiness or may forget about their
problems
 by watching these celebrities on TV or listening to their music. To exemplify, when I have
problems
, stress or a bad mood, I try to watch movies with my favourite actors or listen to the music of my loved singer,
therefore
 I immediately forget about hard times in my life
as well as
 my mood becomes better. In conclusion, celebrities definitely bring more happiness than
problems
 to our world,
due to
 their hard work that deserves admiration
as well as
bring
Verb problem
apply
show examples
motivation to others.
Submitted by sayoraalimjanova09 on

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task achievement
Make sure to provide a clear and direct answer to the essay question in your introduction. While you indicate a position, directly stating whether you believe the benefits outweigh the problems or vice versa could improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Expanding your range of linking phrases and structuring your paragraphs with clearer topic sentences could enhance coherence. Starting each body paragraph with a sentence that directly relates to the question can improve the logical flow of your arguments.
task achievement
Including counterarguments or acknowledging potential drawbacks before reaffirming your stance could provide a more balanced view and strengthen your argument. This technique can make your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public scrutiny
  • Intrusive
  • Endorsements
  • Sponsorships
  • Financial security
  • High-profile collaborations
  • Social influence
  • Philanthropic efforts
  • Trust issues
  • Mental health challenges
  • Substance abuse
  • Pressures of celebrity
  • Expectations
  • Disconnect from reality
  • Normalcy
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