Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality

Popular

people

like famous actors or sports personalities have an effect on others by bringing both difficulties and benefits.

This

essay claims that celebrities bring more benefits than

problems

and will examine the reasons in the next paragraphs. First of all, almost every person on

this

earth has his favourite actors, singers, models or sportsmen that are popular in our particular country or in

this

world. Individuals are motivated by them, to repeat their everyday life where a lot of physical activity, practice and useful qualities in order to be similar to them.

Moreover

, some

people

find their passion, lifelong work or hobby.

For example

, my little sister likes K-pop. As everyone knows, k-pop is that kind of style, where singers not only sing songs but

also

dance,

hence

thanks to K-pop my little sister started to dance and nowadays dancing is her passion.

In addition

this

people

who are obsessed with the sport get inspiration from popular sports personalities

as well as

make efforts to achieve their results.

That is

why, famous individuals are able to inspire others.

Secondly

, more and more

people

get a lot of happiness or may forget about their

problems

by watching these celebrities on TV or listening to their music. To exemplify, when I have

problems

, stress or a bad mood, I try to watch movies with my favourite actors or listen to the music of my loved singer,

therefore

I immediately forget about hard times in my life

as well as

my mood becomes better. In conclusion, celebrities definitely bring more happiness than

problems

to our world,

due to

their hard work that deserves admiration

as well as

bring

Verb problem

apply

show examples

motivation to others.

Submitted by sayoraalimjanova09 on Wed Feb 21 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to provide a clear and direct answer to the essay question in your introduction. While you indicate a position, directly stating whether you believe the benefits outweigh the problems or vice versa could improve clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Expanding your range of linking phrases and structuring your paragraphs with clearer topic sentences could enhance coherence. Starting each body paragraph with a sentence that directly relates to the question can improve the logical flow of your arguments.

task achievement

Including counterarguments or acknowledging potential drawbacks before reaffirming your stance could provide a more balanced view and strengthen your argument. This technique can make your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

Some people think that animals should be kept in men-made cells. What are the disadvantages of keeping animal in zoo?

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the government of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Education, from preschool through university, should be paid for by the government and therefore free to students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is were of time. Do you agree or disagree?