in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly pepole.

#countries #people #population #governments #society #pepole

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life expectancy in some countries has

become

Verb problem

been

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raised through

this

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century.

Although

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the

increse

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increase

of senior

citizen

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citizens

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has its own benefits, a number of individuals

content

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contend

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that

this

Linking Words

phenomenon brings about some

deterimental

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detrimental

complication

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complications

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. I think both pros and cons should be

dicussed

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discussed

. By looking at the bright sides of

this

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widspread

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widespread

event, we can vividly see that people work

effectively

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more effectively

show examples

than before,

due to

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the fact that there is

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apply

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hope for planning for

rest

Correct article usage

the rest

show examples

of their lives after retirement.

Moreover

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, families can take advantage of

presence

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the presence

show examples

of their grandparents like leaving children to be brought up by grandparents.

Last

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but not least, the aging population reside in industrialised zones which is

concidered

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considered

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apply

show examples

a criteria

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a criterion

criteria

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for levelling

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apply

show examples

the well-being of

contries

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countries

, the more an area has

agiing

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an ageing

population, the more it is seen as a developed nation. With regard to the disadvantages, it is undeniable that

the

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apply

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elderly individuals dedicate almost all their hey days

for

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show examples

their motherland but the cost of keeping them in nursery homes and the

penshions

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pensions

are being paid them

momthly

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monthly

heavy

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a heavy

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burden on the

gornments

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governments

government

while

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they are

not

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a not

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workforce

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the workforce

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Furthermore

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, the existence of people who are too unfit

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for

show examples

their daily

routin

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routine

works

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work

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impose

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imposes

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this

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resposibility

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responsibility

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show examples

the

offsprings

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offspring

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which

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are

show examples

seemed partly impossible with

such

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kind of nowadays hectic lifestyle.

Finally

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, the budget,

allocating

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allocated

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to them could have been invested in other parts of

the

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apply

show examples

society like funding

studend

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students

student

who are struggling to ends meet at

colleges

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college

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To conclude

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, that elders could

comple

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complete

comply

heavy burden on others is

obnious

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obvious

, but we should take it into account that if their sacrifices were not, we would not live with

tranquility

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tranquillity

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as we are now;

thus

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, looking up to them can be the least action that we can do in order to

appriciate

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appreciate

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Task Achievement

For task response, it's important to fully address all parts of the task. Make sure your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion throughout, not just at the conclusion. To improve, try to directly relate each paragraph to the essay question, ensuring that your personal stance is clearer from the introduction through to the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on the logical flow of your essay. This includes better paragraphing with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly and avoid repetition. Additionally, work on the clarity and structural organization of your thoughts for a more coherent flow of ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly pepole.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.