A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #rights #humans #food #research

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Some

people

think that

animals

should have the same rights as

community

Add an article

a community

the community

show examples

and they mustn’t be exploited by

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

also

the amount of society

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

every day. Other

people

are convinced that

animals

must used by

people

for various needs like food or research. I believe that it doesn’t have too much value in testing different products on

animals

This

essay will discuss both points of view. A number of scientists have shown that in recent years there have been significant changes in animal exploitation patterns.

As a result

this

trend seems to become less common. Referring to some potentially negative outcomes of that tendency, some evidence indicates the extinction of many animal species.

For instance

, testing cosmetics leads to the death of rabbits or other creatures,

this

incident started being popular some time ago ( social media actively spread videos with talking rabbits ). After that,

people

collect petitions about the rights of

animals

, which should be the same as

people

However

, some opponents who state that for

people

’s health, it is right to use

animals

may deem the alternative viewpoint questionable.

Although

the social and economic dimensions of effects are distinct, they are more closely interrelated than other dimensions. It is often said that some products can cause deadly diseases or allergies, which isn’t cured.

Nevertheless

, it is necessary to take into account all the details of each individual case. From my point of view, the former opinion is definitely more persuasive, as it follows from my own experience, for I am a journalist.

However

, an attitude to

this

issue may always depend on a particular occupation status and his or her academic qualifications or personal background.

Submitted by balnur_amantay on Wed Feb 21 2024

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structure

Develop a clearer structure by introducing your essay with a brief overview of the topic before discussing each view and your opinion. Use separate paragraphs for each viewpoint and your own stance to improve readability.

conclusion

Include a clear conclusion that summarises the discussed points and reaffirms your opinion. This will help in rounding off your essay and providing closure to the reader.

examples

Support your arguments with more specific examples. While mentioning the issue with cosmetic testing on animals, providing more detailed instances or data could strengthen your argument.

clarity

Work on making your ideas clearer. Avoid ambiguous sentences and jargon that might confuse the reader. Using simpler, straightforward language can make your points more comprehensible.

cohesion

Improve your coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your essay, making the progression of ideas more natural.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Exploitation
Animal welfare
Ethical treatment
Vegetarianism
Veganism
Cognitive dissonance
Humane
Live stock
Cruelty-free
Bioethics
Conservation
Habitat preservation
Ecosystem
Biodiversity
Animal testing
Synthetic biology
Genetic engineering
Speciesism
Animal husbandry
Sustainable farming

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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.