A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some
people
think that
animals
should have the same rights as
community
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a community
the community
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and they mustn’t be exploited by
public
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the public
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,
also
the amount of society
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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every day. Other
people
are convinced that
animals
must used by
people
for various needs like food or research. I believe that it doesn’t have too much value in testing different products on
animals
.
This
essay will discuss both points of view. A number of scientists have shown that in recent years there have been significant changes in animal exploitation patterns.
As a result
,
this
trend seems to become less common. Referring to some potentially negative outcomes of that tendency, some evidence indicates the extinction of many animal species.
For instance
, testing cosmetics leads to the death of rabbits or other creatures,
this
incident started being popular some time ago ( social media actively spread videos with talking rabbits ). After that,
people
collect petitions about the rights of
animals
, which should be the same as
people
.
However
, some opponents who state that for
people
’s health, it is right to use
animals
may deem the alternative viewpoint questionable.
Although
the social and economic dimensions of effects are distinct, they are more closely interrelated than other dimensions. It is often said that some products can cause deadly diseases or allergies, which isn’t cured.
Nevertheless
, it is necessary to take into account all the details of each individual case. From my point of view, the former opinion is definitely more persuasive, as it follows from my own experience, for I am a journalist.
However
, an attitude to
this
issue may always depend on a particular occupation status and his or her academic qualifications or personal background.
Submitted by balnur_amantay on

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structure
Develop a clearer structure by introducing your essay with a brief overview of the topic before discussing each view and your opinion. Use separate paragraphs for each viewpoint and your own stance to improve readability.
conclusion
Include a clear conclusion that summarises the discussed points and reaffirms your opinion. This will help in rounding off your essay and providing closure to the reader.
examples
Support your arguments with more specific examples. While mentioning the issue with cosmetic testing on animals, providing more detailed instances or data could strengthen your argument.
clarity
Work on making your ideas clearer. Avoid ambiguous sentences and jargon that might confuse the reader. Using simpler, straightforward language can make your points more comprehensible.
cohesion
Improve your coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your essay, making the progression of ideas more natural.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Animal welfare
  • Ethical treatment
  • Vegetarianism
  • Veganism
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Humane
  • Live stock
  • Cruelty-free
  • Bioethics
  • Conservation
  • Habitat preservation
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Animal testing
  • Synthetic biology
  • Genetic engineering
  • Speciesism
  • Animal husbandry
  • Sustainable farming
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