IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

it is often argued that funds of the government should be spent on establishing trains and subway
lines
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 in order to solve problems related to
traffic
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 jams.
However
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, other people claim that broadening
roads
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 would be more effective in solving
this
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 issue.
This
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 essay aims to discuss both viewpoints and agrees with the first statement. It is conspicuous that our cities are suffering from harsh
traffic
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 congestion.In order to solve
this
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 problem, many citizens urge the
responsibles
Correct your spelling
responsible
 to develop
roads
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 that are dedicated to cars and two-wheel vehicles
instead
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 of building train
lines
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. Indeed,
this
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 idea consists of expanding current streets and principal arteries
as well as
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 setting up new
roads
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 in order to get more space for automobiles and motorbikes.
Furthermore
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, it would be an economical plan as the infrastructure which is used already exists.
For instance
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, in Casablanca city, in Morocco, many boulevards have been widened to solve the
traffic
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 congestion issue.
On the other hand
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, building train
lines
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 is
also
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 considered by a wide portion of the population a viable solution.
This
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 is because it is impossible to expand several streets that are located in the downtown.In fact, it is witnessed in huge cities that the city centre is already full of buildings and streets and that changing the architecture of these conurbations seems to be insane.
Moreover
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, trains are considered eco-friendly
due to
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 the fact that electric energy is used to make them move. In
this
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 regard, considering trains as a commonly used public transportation is renowned as a reliable alternative by the public. In conclusion, it would be ridiculous to consider that adding more
roads
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 for personal vehicles would be viable to solve issues related to
traffic
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 congestion.It is crystal clear that establishing train
lines
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 and subways is the right alternative because of its realistic and environmentally friendly features.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the point about why widening roads may not be a sustainable long-term solution. Include more examples to illustrate the limitations of this approach.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly. Try to use more cohesive devices to demonstrate clear links between ideas.
task achievement
Work on expanding your examples and evidence to give your arguments more depth and strength, particularly for the point about train systems being more beneficial.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both viewpoints, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with a logical progression from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly connected to the main thesis.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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