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Band 3.5

Some say that the best way to help poor countries is financial aids. Other say other forms of aid should be given. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#say #countries #aids #forms #aid
A part of the world thinks monetary options are the best form of support for poor
countries
,
whereas
 , others
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
Add an article
the non-monetory
show examples
non-monetory
Correct your spelling
non-monetary
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
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 are better. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views.
However
, I tend to think before sending help government should
askfor
Correct your spelling
ask for
arequest
Correct your spelling
a request
request
 for help from others.
Firstly
, financial help means supporting a nation,
For instance
, that can be used
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 infrastructure. The undeveloped
countries
 can invest in their strengths or equipment.
Moreover
, financial help can increase the quality of life for citizens and sharply increase their education.
Additionally
 ,
such
 investment can give a big push for the economy and create a lot of job opportunities for citizens.
On the other hand
, forms of aid can create more and more job creation for citizens.
Furthermore
,
this
 kind of helps another sphere of undeveloped
countries
 and obviously can help in some
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 moments in the country. A good illustration of
this
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 in Turkey after the earthquake all
countries
 united to help with food and help to carry out people from danger zones.
To sum up
 , any help for every country can create good relationships between
countries
. From my point of view, any help to any country may provide greater opportunities for the two
countries
 to interact internationally.
Submitted by zhanabayev.z on

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task achievement
Focus on providing a clear thesis statement in the introduction to directly address the prompt and make your stance clear from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of transition phrases to improve flow between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing cohesion.
task achievement
Include more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments, ensuring each point made is thoroughly explained and evidenced.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the conclusion summarises the main points discussed and restates your opinion clearly, making it distinct from the introduction.
general
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and correct verb tense usage to improve grammatical accuracy.
general
Check for and correct any punctuation errors, such as the use of commas, to improve the readability of your essay.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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