IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Scientists say that junk food is harmful to people’s health. Some say the way ask people to leas fast food is educate them.while others say education doesn’t work.discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that, in today's world, junk food consumption is on the rise , and it has become a subject to argue about.
While
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 some argue that it is necessary to educate
people
Use synonyms
 by showing its harmful effects, others believe that there is an argument that opposes
this
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 idea. In
this
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 essay, I will analyse both views and present my own opinion. On the one hand, teaching and assessing individuals about the bad effects of fast food may be the most effective way to reduce their consumption.
In other words
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, education showed that fat
people
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 are exposed to various kinds of diseases that are indispensable with these wrong habits.
In addition
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, parents should set educational roles at home to encourage their kids to eat vegetables and other useful foods.
On the other hand
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, some individuals believe that education does not work with
this
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 subject , and there are other measures that should be taken to prevent the bad effects of these foods. To illustrate
this
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 point, we have different species of humans; some are able to learn, and others are not.
For instance
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, research conducted in Germany revealed that among 30
people
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, we have only five human beings with the passion to learn and act, whether he or she is realising the importance of preventing harmful actions.
To conclude
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,
people
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 hold different opinions on
this
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 issue, and the Ministry of Health should invest in both views, the educational and non-educational, to encourage
people
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 to have a healthier routine and start a diet. In my opinion, I consider that it is crucial to educate
people
Use synonyms
 about the bad consequences of the increased consumption of fast food.

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task response
Be clear in your view at the end. State your position strongly and back it with clear reasons.
task response
Add more facts or examples to back up your view and the other side, and explain how they help your point.
coherence
Put ideas in a clear order: Intro, view A with reasons, view B with reasons, your view, then a short conclusion.
coherence
Use short, simple sentences and basic linking words like and, but, also, then to help flow.
content
The essay talks about both sides and your own view.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • junk food
  • harmful effects
  • health issues
  • obesity
  • heart disease
  • diabetes
  • educational campaigns
  • healthy eating habits
  • marketing influence
  • convenience food
  • government regulations
  • taxes on unhealthy foods
  • personal responsibility
  • food choices
  • lifestyle changes
  • nutritional education
  • public health initiatives
  • fast-food consumption
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