Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disasters like earthquakes and floods. Government should concentrate their resources on educating people about the risk they face nearer to home, which can cost far more lives.

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Governments are too sensitive to attention-grabbing tragedies like earthquakes and floods,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some opponents believe that they are not important in comparison with obstacles around our neighbourhoods. Actually, they do not know those
disasters
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

cause mass killings. Allocating a budget, and resources to increase the public knowledge about different actions during these kinds of
disasters
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can save lots of lives. Because they are considered serious threats and will kill lots of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

year, a huge earthquake happened in Turkey. Unfortunately, the number of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who were hurt was high
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a lack of knowledge.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if the government tried to teach them so many
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would be alive today.
Additionally
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when a disaster heats a country with weak infrastructure, for sure, the damage will be huge.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, authorities should spend an adequate amount of money to renew, and rebuild cities to save
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

people
Change noun form
people's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
lives.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Japan is an obvious sample that shows how much giving attention to these events is crucial. Every year, they face severe earthquakes with no damage because all buildings in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

area are built floating. So they will not be devastated during
disasters
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

case, not only government’s attention will prevent
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from dying, but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they can make secure and safe places for their population. In conclusion, there is no doubt that in our living areas, there would be lots of threats, but big
disasters
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will make more dangerous situations. So, it is vital to persuade governments to use their resources to make
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

more knowledgeable about how they should act in these times.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to make your argument more structured and easy to follow. Your essay has these elements, but making the distinctions clearer would improve coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points more thoroughly. Providing more detailed explanations and diversifying your examples could make your arguments more convincing and your essay richer.
Coherence & Cohesion
Aim for clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument more effectively. This will improve the logical progression of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider both sides of the argument to provide a more comprehensive response. This will not only show an understanding of the complexity of the issue but also enrich your essay.
Task Achievement
Be specific in your examples and ensure they directly support the argument you are making. While you have done this, further specificity could strengthen your essay.
General
Revise your essay for grammatical accuracy and vocabulary diversity to achieve a more polished and professional final piece. Focusing on this will also help improve your score.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • headline-grabbing
  • disasters
  • natural disasters
  • media coverage
  • sensationalism
  • local issues
  • funding
  • executive resources
  • resource allocation
  • risk awareness
  • domestic fires
  • road safety
  • food storage
  • education initiatives
  • community engagement
  • local government
  • immediate disaster relief
  • long-term benefits
  • local risk mitigation
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