People prefer to choose life without working when given a choice between life without work and working throughout their life.

#people #life #choice #work

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A faction of

people

Use synonyms

hold the notion that

employment

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

not necessary if there is a stable income. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion as ample reasons to substantiate it.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain my view with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, one of the obvious stimulation for

employment

Use synonyms

renumeration

Correct your spelling

remuneration

show examples

In other words

Linking Words

, the

people

Use synonyms

have sufficient money to live they

are not require

Change the verb form

are not required

show examples

to work for

the

Correct article usage

show examples

living

instead

Linking Words

they can pursue their dreams

such

Linking Words

as travelling.

For example

Linking Words

, a young man from a reputed business family decided

for travelling

Change preposition

to travel

show examples

instead

Linking Words

of managing their family business.

Besides

Linking Words

employment

Use synonyms

may be caused

for

Change preposition

show examples

physical and mental issues. To exemplify, It is believed that 40% of

workforce

Add an article

the workforce

show examples

around the world

has

Verb problem

show examples

suffering

various

Change preposition

from various

show examples

kinds of stress.

As a result

Linking Words

, the well-being of

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

would

inversly

Correct your spelling

inversely

affect

Wrong verb form

affected

show examples

by routine

employment

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, several

people

Use synonyms

around the world

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

prefered

Correct your spelling

prefer

to do voluntary work rather than doing lucrative

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. In detail,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

employment

Use synonyms

might provide financial security which would not be sufficient for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

self satisfaction

Add a hyphen

self-satisfaction

show examples

therefore

Linking Words

, several

people

Use synonyms

decide to do voluntary

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

for poor

countires

Correct your spelling

countries

instead

Linking Words

of spending

throughout

Correct pronoun usage

it throughout

show examples

their life in

corporate

Add an article

the corporate

show examples

business world.

Linking Words

Similarly

Add a comma

Similarly,

show examples

some faction of

people

Use synonyms

holds

Correct subject-verb agreement

hold

show examples

the notion that

employment

Use synonyms

is not vital for living. In detail, YouTube influencers are creating

incomes

Fix the agreement mistake

income

show examples

while

Linking Words

chasing their dreams. In conclusion, since

employment

Use synonyms

causes physical and mental issues,

employment

Use synonyms

is not necessary for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who have

second

Add an article

a second

show examples

income. Several

people

Use synonyms

choose voluntary work

instead

Linking Words

Correct article usage

a lucreative

show examples

lucreative

Correct your spelling

lucrative

creative

job for

self satisfaction

Add a hyphen

self-satisfaction

show examples

Submitted by ck.manshad on Wed Feb 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, however, the development of your main points could be more thorough. Be sure to expand each point with specific details and examples to fully address the prompt.

Task achievement

To improve task achievement, aim to develop your ideas more thoroughly. Include more specific examples and ensure that each paragraph fully addresses a single main idea related to the prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an adequate level of coherence and cohesion. However, some sentences and ideas could be more smoothly connected to enhance readability. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Start with a topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. Finally, conclude each paragraph by linking back to the essay's main argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of foods imported from countries all over the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, there are lots of supermarkets that appear to respond to the increased customer need for consumer goods. This essay will talk about the pros and cons of supermarkets and give my opinion that there are more benefits than drawbacks.
6.5
band
The most essential component of a person’s life is his or her time at the workplace, and life turns meaningless once no job satisfaction is obtained. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, there is a big focus on job satisfaction. Some people believe that without it, their life would be meaningless. I completely disagree with this idea because although job
8
band
In modern society, it is possible to go shopping, work, and accommodate via the Internet without face-to-face contact with one another. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development.
In today's world, technology has an influence on people's lives. They are purchasing online, working as well as accommodating without any contact with each other. In my opinion, I firmly believe that it has a positive development, while there are a number of arguments.
7
band
Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
The driving force behind innovation has long been a subject of debate, with some contending that profit and economic growth should be the primary motivators, while others argue for a focus on addressing social and environmental issues. This essay will examine both perspectives and provide an opinion on the matter.
6
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
For a long time, the world suffering from environmental problems and when the time goes by it keeps getting worse and worse. Today, some people think the biggest problem regarding the environment is the deprivation of some plant and animal species while others indicate there are more important problems which I also definitely agree with. This essay will discuss both sides.

People prefer to choose life without working when given a choice between life without work and working throughout their life.

Your opinion

Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of foods imported from countries all over the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The most essential component of a person’s life is his or her time at the workplace, and life turns meaningless once no job satisfaction is obtained. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In modern society, it is possible to go shopping, work, and accommodate via the Internet without face-to-face contact with one another. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.