The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world’s cities today. Discuss the causes. What solutions could be used to tackle the situation?

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Nowadays,
people
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are moving to the
cities
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.
Therefore
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,
cities
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are suffering from
this
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challenge
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globally. The main
problem
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is the lack of jobs for residents of rural
areas
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. One solution to
this
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problem
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could be distributing supermarkets and
industries
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to the countryside. These days, the shortage of jobs obligates individuals to migrate to the
cities
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. Unfortunately,
this
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problem
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is not only one city but
cities
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across the world suffering
this
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challenge
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.
This
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problem
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has been created
due to
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job seekers.
For example
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, those who are living in rural
areas
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are busy working in factories or supermarkets that are located in the
cities
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, in
this
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case for time efficiency they prefer being in the
cities
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. Distributing
industries
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to the countryside can be one solution for keeping
people
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in rural
areas
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. Most of
this
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problem
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is
due to
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a large number of
people
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who are looking for jobs.
Therefore
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, the government should make plans or policies to contribute the source of work (supermarkets,
industries
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) to the rural area. It proved the
cities
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without noses, crowed, and air pollution
moreover
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, it led the rural residents to save the money that has been being spent on public transport or private cars oil.
Consequently
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, moving
industries
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to rural
areas
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is the best way to tackle the following
problem
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. In conclusion,
people
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globally preferred moving town. It faces
cities
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to
challenge
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. It is
due to
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job seekers or lack of work for local residents. The solution to
this
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challenge
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is that the government should contribute to factories in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Language use
It's beneficial to have a more varied sentence structure and to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas in a more precise and engaging way.
Development of Ideas
Try to support your main points with more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments. Providing detailed examples make your position clearer and more persuasive.
Essay Structure
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, and the relation between paragraphs should be clear to the reader.
Task Response
You addressed both parts of the task adequately by discussing the causes of urban migration and proposing a solution.
Development of Ideas
The main points of your essay are relevant to the task and you attempt to support them with reasons.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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