Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creative than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

It is said by some people that some
children
who play interesting
games
can improve their skills and
this
is much better than studying. Personally, I totally agree with
this
notion because by doing interesting exercises with
children
, parents can make them enhance their potential and it is much more fun. There are some reasons why parents prefer enjoyable activities to others. One of them is that it may improve young generations' cognitive skills.
That is
,
while
playing different enjoyable
games
, they are highly active and blood circle well in the body.
As a result
,
this
can deliver adequate blood to the young's brain, which may develop their mental ability.
For example
,
according to
the findings of a recent survey conducted by the US government,
children
who played
games
more improved their critical thinking than those who did not. The second important one is that
this
can encourage offspring to be active and work in collaboration with nature. In
this
case, they wholly feel the environment and learn a lot of things from it.
As a consequence
, they play in nature, which is more beneficial than reading books as by reading books, they can only gain theoretical knowledge about one subject.
However
, playing different
games
can link several subjects. In conclusion,
children
who do activities more than others who do not are more active and conscious.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
Include a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This will make your argument easier to follow and enhance the overall cohesion.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction and conclusion, clearly state your opinion and the reasons behind it. This will make your response to the task prompt more evident.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay more persuasive and engaging to the reader.

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