Some people say young people should be encouraged to leave their family when they become adults while some argue they should live for a longer time with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #adults #argue #time

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There is an ongoing debate about whether young

adults

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should continue living with their

parents

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or move out when they reach a certain age.

While

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both perspectives have their merits, I believe that young

adults

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should leave the family home. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and explain why, in my opinion, moving out is the better choice. On the one hand, those who argue in

favor

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favour

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of young

adults

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staying with their

parents

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often highlight the importance of family support.

Parents

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can provide emotional guidance and practical advice, which is crucial when young people are beginning their careers or facing new life challenges.

For example

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, university students might choose to study close to home so they can regularly visit their

parents

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for advice or assistance. The older generation’s experience can be invaluable in helping young

adults

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navigate unfamiliar situations and avoid common pitfalls.

On the other hand

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, supporters of the idea that young

adults

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should move out believe it is an essential step for personal development. Living independently encourages the growth of crucial life skills

such

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as self-reliance, responsibility, and time management.

For instance

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, research shows that young people who move out and live on their own tend to develop these skills more quickly than those who remain with their families. They learn to manage their finances, take care of household chores, and make important decisions on their own, which better prepares them for adulthood. In conclusion,

while

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staying with

parents

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offers emotional support and guidance, I firmly believe that moving out is more beneficial for young

adults

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. It provides them with the opportunity to build essential life skills, become more independent, and face life’s challenges with greater confidence.

Submitted by hebadyala on Sat Aug 17 2024

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task achievement

The essay effectively presents both viewpoints and provides a clear opinion on the matter. To further enhance the task response, consider including additional examples or broader contexts to support your points more comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, the logical structure is well-maintained, and the introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the arguments. To improve further, try to use more linking words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow between ideas.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced and thoughtful discussion of both viewpoints, which is essential for a high band score.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear stand on the issue.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is strong, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea and being well-developed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

foster independence
personal responsibility
financial management
time management
decision-making
higher education
career opportunities
cultural exposure
personal growth
world view
affordable living
financial relief
emotional support
family bonds
close-knit cultures
delayed autonomy
dependence
daily decision-making
economic support
supportive environment

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Some people say young people should be encouraged to leave their family when they become adults while some argue they should live for a longer time with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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