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Band 4

Do you think that place where the person grew has an influence on his accomplishments? Explain with example.

#place #person #influence #accomplishments
One of the most hot-buttoned topics in some fields of study is whether
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 childhood environment of a
person
 can affect one's future achievements. The way I see it,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 place where a
person
 was brought up has definitely an influence on his accomplishments later in his
life
. I base
this
 opinion on two major reasons. First of all,
this
 matter can be viewed by using
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
show examples
 lens or bird's point of
view
. What I mean by a bigger lens is that we can see it on a large scale with the whole village or community as the "place of living". Here, a
person
 grew up interacting with people from different walks of
life
, absorbed the culture and nature surrounding him, and
exposed
Add a missing verb
was exposed
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 specific
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 where it could be different to any other
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 on Earth. These people he was interacting with more or less could shape his behaviour, views towards the meaning of
life
 and motivation regarding future opportunities.
For example
, if a
person
 lived in a well-off neighbourhood with supportive residents, he could be more motivated to grab opportunities ahead.
However
,
this
annot
Correct your spelling
cannot
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the only factor.
Thus
,
this
 leads to the second lens. The second
view
 is the more minuscule
view
 as small as a family. A
person
 cannot be motivated if his family
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 provide the materials and motivation he
needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
. In conclusion,
this
 should be seen case by case and not be seen in general. We should see it in a family
view
 and in a larger
view
 as larger as the whole community during one's childhood
life
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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