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Writing Samples
Band 4

Do you think that place where the person grew has an influence on his accomplishments? Explain with example.

#place #person #influence #accomplishments
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One of the most hot-buttoned topics in some fields of study is whether
a
Correct article usage
the
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 childhood environment of a
person
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 can affect one's future achievements. The way I see it,
a
Correct article usage
the
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 place where a
person
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 was brought up has definitely an influence on his accomplishments later in his
life
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. I base
this
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 opinion on two major reasons. First of all,
this
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 matter can be viewed by using
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
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 lens or bird's point of
view
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. What I mean by a bigger lens is that we can see it on a large scale with the whole village or community as the "place of living". Here, a
person
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 grew up interacting with people from different walks of
life
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, absorbed the culture and nature surrounding him, and
exposed
Add a missing verb
was exposed
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with
Change preposition
to
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 specific
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 where it could be different to any other
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
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 on Earth. These people he was interacting with more or less could shape his behaviour, views towards the meaning of
life
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 and motivation regarding future opportunities.
For example
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, if a
person
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 lived in a well-off neighbourhood with supportive residents, he could be more motivated to grab opportunities ahead.
However
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,
this
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annot
Correct your spelling
cannot
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the only factor.
Thus
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,
this
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 leads to the second lens. The second
view
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 is the more minuscule
view
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 as small as a family. A
person
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 cannot be motivated if his family
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 provide the materials and motivation he
needed
Wrong verb form
needs
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. In conclusion,
this
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 should be seen case by case and not be seen in general. We should see it in a family
view
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 and in a larger
view
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 as larger as the whole community during one's childhood
life
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.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction needs to clearly state your main points for the reader to understand your essay's direction immediately. Consider using a thesis statement at the end of your introduction.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. This will help your essay's flow and overall coherence.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with more specific examples. Detailed examples make your arguments more convincing and demonstrate a wider range of language.
Task Achievement
Respond more directly and fully to the essay prompt. Make sure to explore the implications of your points and how they connect to the question asked.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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