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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Animal are in danger of extinctions. Some people say we should protect only those animals which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree?

#danger #extinctions #people #animals #humans
Animals
plays
Change the verb form
play
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a
Change the article
an
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 important part towards human lives
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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 and
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
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,most importantly rare species of animals after
the
Correct article usage
apply
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extinction the traces cannot be recovered.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
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 highly argued that some
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 that we should only preserve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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animals who are only helpful to humankind. I disagree as
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe all the species are useful.
Submitted by muskaanahuja0007 on

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task achievement
Work on expanding your essay and ideas. It's essential to develop your argument with clear paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should present a unique idea or argument related to the prompt.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. Using real-world instances, hypothetical scenarios, or credible studies can significantly strengthen your argument and make your essay more impactful.
coherence cohesion
Improve your essay structure and flow by clearly separating your ideas into paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and supporting sentences. This will help in enhancing the logical structure and making your argument more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Revise your work for grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structures. Varied sentence structures and accurate grammar can improve the readability and professionalism of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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