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Writing Samples
Band 7

The popularity of online education has grown significantly in recent years. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

#popularity #education #years #development
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Over the
last
 few years, the popularity of online learning has increased prevalence.
While
 there are some advantages of
this
 online education, I believe the negatives should
also
 be taken into account. The first reason why
this
 is positive is that people are able to work full-time whilst studying.
Moreover
, online learning is usually cost-effective. If you educate online, you will waste your time and money. You work all day,
then
 you can study at night.
Therefore
, many scholars can speed up their education to complete a course sooner. Online courses may achieve more and more popularity because of having qualified educators and quality
lessons
. Many
students
 choose online learning over traditional classrooms.
For instance
, now my brother is studying online.
However
, my parents spend less money on my brother's online study.
Nonetheless
, one of the negatives of online education is that
students
 cannot have face-to-face interaction with other pupils and their professors.
Moreover
, if pupils are educated in the traditional classroom, teachers can provide instant feedback and support in the classroom. In online learning, educators do not give face-to-face feedback to scholars. Online studying does not give
students
 a sense of unity and encouragement and does not provide structured learning and an easy-to-follow schedule.
Therefore
,
students
 learn online
lessons
 on phones, and
then
 they utilise phones during
lessons
.
As a result
, their eyes are tired and
also
 origin some problems with their eyes.
For instance
, my friend was studying online
lessons
 on the telephone and her eyes were tired.
As a result
, she wears glasses now. In conclusion,
although
 online learning has become significantly popular among
students
, the demerits ought to be considered.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction. Though the introduction broadly addresses the topic, including a specific sentence that directly answers the question would strengthen your position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organise your essay into clear paragraphs, each representing a separate idea or aspect of your argument. Use linking words (e.g., however, moreover) and transition phrases to move smoothly from one idea to another.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with detailed examples. You have provided some examples, but expanding on these with more detail or additional examples would make your argument more convincing.
Task Achievement
Balance your discussion between the positives and negatives of online education. While you have addressed both, ensuring equal development of each aspect can result in a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.
General Advice
Review your essay for any grammar or vocabulary issues that might make your arguments less clear. Aim for precision in language use to effectively convey your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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