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Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
Since
people
 have achieved
science
, they are using it in favour of themselves. Actually,
science
 is considered the power of humans that presents different data, methods, and tools for an easier and more safe life.
To begin
, humans use
science
 to make any parts of their lives more convenient.
This
 achievement has a huge impact on the agriculture industry. For more explanation, nowadays, robots and high-tech machines are used to accelerate cultivation, harvesting and irrigation processes. So, it is possible for farmers to produce a massive amount of products and food for a growing population.
As a result
,
science
 plays a key role in facilitating human lives.
Furthermore
,
science
 improves
people
’s knowledge in different sectors, so they will be able to discover new treatments and cures for severe diseases. Unfortunately, decades ago, lots of
people
 died during the flu pandemic because
this
 virus could easily spread among
people
 and
then
 kill them. But today, quarantine, and hospital isolations are not necessary in these cases
due to
 vaccination.
This
 public treatment method was processed by scientists many years ago to raise the
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 immune system against flu
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and break the transmission chain. Injecting
this
 vaccine for all infants is mandatory and nobody can skip it.
Hence
, these kinds of cures which are rooted in
science
 have been preserving lots of
people
.
Thus
,
science
 brings us new modern methods and facilities to save us. In conclusion,
science
 is integrated into all parts of our lives to eliminate mass killings, cure dangerous diseases, and provide us with various opportunities for having a more comfortable lifestyle.
Submitted by afrough on

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task achievement
You've addressed the prompt effectively but consider expanding on your argument by incorporating contrasting views or exploring the implications of your stance in greater depth. This will enrich your task response and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, enhancing the transitions between paragraphs and within them can improve the flow of ideas. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to more clearly link your points.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a broader spectrum of complex sentence structures and varied vocabulary to articulate your ideas more precisely and dynamically. This will enhance the overall readability and sophistication of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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