It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children's actions.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There has been an ongoing debate regarding the
punishment
of
parents
because of parental responsibility.
While
punishment
for
parents
is right, I believe that it is essential to punish their
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
for their wrong actions. On the one hand, there is no denying the fact that it's highly essential to be well informed about
children
's actions as it raises parent's awareness about what their
children
are doing is right or wrong.
This
could be beneficial for the simple reason that
parents
are role models for their offspring from the earliest days of their lives. So,
children
's
misbehavior
Change the spelling
misbehaviour
show examples
may stem from parent's behaviours.
For example
, if
parents
are offenders who cheat others for money, their
children
would suppose it as a normal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will commit the same crime in possible cases in the future.
On the other hand
,
children
who commit
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
must be punished in some
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
. kids are too young to understand their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, so the
punishment
will give them a chance to realize their mistakes, which leads to not repeating their
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
. For
instante
Correct your spelling
instance
, when a kid steals
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
possession of his/her friends because of willingness to have it ,and without
punishment
, he/she will repeat it again leading to affecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in the future.
Therefore
, deserved punishments should be given to them in order to reduce the cause of juvenile delinquency in the long term. In conclusion, despite the fact that
parents
should be responsible for the faults of their
children
,
children
also
need to be punished for their
misbehavior
Change the spelling
misbehaviour
show examples
.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Establish a clearer opinion in the introduction to guide reader expectations and ensure that the conclusion decisively states your viewpoint.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more detail and explanation on how they support your point of view. This will enhance the relevance and impact of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Use a variety of transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use a more diverse range of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher proficiency in language use.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: