The charts below show the total number of applicants the year before and the year after Doolittle University’s social media advertising campaign, organized by age range and how close the applicants live to the university.

The charts below show the total number of applicants the year before and the year after Doolittle University’s social media advertising campaign, organized by age range and how close the applicants live to the university.
The presented bar chart illustrates the
number
of students who applied for
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Doolittle University from 4 different parts of the world during a given period, starting from 1999.
Overall
, it can be seen that the figure for the Far East and Africa increased over the given time.
While
the Middle East trend experienced some fluctuations, the European
Nations
Change noun form
Nations'
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applications declined. In detail, in 1999, only 30000 of the total students from the European Nations applied,
whereas
this
number
decreased each year
around
Change preposition
to around
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1000, and
then
in 2003, about 11000 of the total population applied.
Moreover
, in 1999 the
number
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Middle East applicants was 10000, and
then
this
figure experienced some variations.
Finally
, in 2003, a peak at 20000 was reached.
Furthermore
, in 1999, the
number
of pupils from the Far East was 15000,
whereas
there was an increase and a peak of 30000 was reached. In 1999, Africa only had 3000 applications,
while
this
trend steadily remained until 2001, and
then
went up in 2003 at approximately 6000 of the total population.
Submitted by royakarimi435 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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