In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn.
High
salaries
have always been a topic of discussion, containing a wide range of opinions. Some advocate that it is better for a nation, while
debaters argue that the government should control it. This
essay will discuss both views and argue in favour of the latter.
On the one hand, high pay is responsible for economic growth and the better lifestyle of residents
. The person who earns a high check will contribute to the economy of the country he is living in, which is beneficial for nations to raise their overall
growth. Moreover
, personal growth, like luxurious lifestyles, also
relies on an individual's earnings. For instance
, individuals with high salaries
will be able to fulfill
their dreams of luxury cars, villas and dream destinations by spending the money they earn.
Change the spelling
fulfil
On the other hand
, high incomes can lead to negative effects such
as a significant imbalance in the socioeconomic status of residents
and a rise in corruption cases. If no limit is kept on salaries
, then
the difference between rich and poor will increase gradually, and it will lead to adverse effects, such
as an increase in slavery and competition for jobs.
In addition
to that, crimes like corruption and other loots will surge in numbers due to
competition for earning more. For example
, in developing countries where there is no limit on income, some government employees are taking extra money from the residents
to obtain their work. Nevertheless
, some of the high-paying businesses compensate their employee’s salaries
by collecting additional charges from customers.
In my opinion, the government should limit the amount of salaries
individuals can take to mitigate crimes and to
maintain the socioeconomic status of the community.
Fix the infinitive
apply
To conclude
, although
high incomes can benefit the nation in the overall
economy of the nation, I believe that it can lead to severe issues, such
as considerable differences in the socioeconomic status of its residents
and could lead to a significant surge in crimes like corruption.Submitted by rushsoni1998 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure to appropriately structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You have maintained a logical structure, but further clarification of main points could enhance readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduce your main points in the introduction more clearly to guide the reader through your argument. Each body paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported by specific examples or evidence.
Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. You have provided a broad discussion, but incorporating more detailed examples that are directly relevant to the arguments could strengthen your response.
Task Achievement
Make your main ideas and examples clearer and more direct. Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to articulate your points more comprehensively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.