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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009.

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The table illustrates the number of students who were able to attend four different
schools
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 from 2000 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, community institutions achieved the most significant rise in people’s participation compared to the three academies.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Voluntary-controlled got a dramatic decline and
Grammar
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,
while
Linking Words
specialist
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 universities gradually fell each year. Notably, in the displayed information, people are attracted to prefer community departments for having an education. It could be noticed that they acquired a doubled increase every term, with 12%, 32% and 58%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, voluntary-controlled
schools
Use synonyms
 reduced significantly every single period.
Although
Linking Words
 it was successful in the first period, with 52, it went down by 20% in 2009.
In addition
Linking Words
,
specialist
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schools
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 and
grammar
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 institutes did not reach success over time. It could be seen that
grammar
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 institutes had around five points of dip, with 24%, 19% and 12%,
while
Linking Words
specialist
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 institutions showed a minor decrease, with one number each year, 12%, 11% and 10%. be seen that
grammar
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 institutions had around five points of dip, with 24%, 19% and 12%,
while
Linking Words
specialist
Use synonyms
schools
Use synonyms
 showed a minor decrease, with one number each age, 12%, 11% and 10%.

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Introduction Enhancement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the elements you will discuss. A brief overview or summary of the main trends is also beneficial for a stronger start.
Logical Structure
In the body paragraphs, try to organize your points more logically. Discuss each school type in a separate paragraph and make sure your ideas flow naturally from one to another.
Cohesion Improvement
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion. Words such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'Similarly' can help connect your ideas more fluidly.
Comprehensive Ideas
While you've included relevant examples, make sure to explain these examples more comprehensively. Discussing the implications of the stated percentages could make your argument stronger.
Conclusion Addition
Consider adding a conclusion that summarizes the main points of your analysis and perhaps offers a very brief reflection on the data or suggests reasons for the trends.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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