The Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009.

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The table illustrates the number of students who were able to attend four different
schools
from 2000 to 2009.
Overall
, community institutions achieved the most significant rise in people’s participation compared to the three academies.
In contrast
, Voluntary-controlled got a dramatic decline and
Grammar
,
while
specialist
universities gradually fell each year. Notably, in the displayed information, people are attracted to prefer community departments for having an education. It could be noticed that they acquired a doubled increase every term, with 12%, 32% and 58%, respectively.
However
, voluntary-controlled
schools
reduced significantly every single period.
Although
it was successful in the first period, with 52, it went down by 20% in 2009.
In addition
,
specialist
schools
and
grammar
institutes did not reach success over time. It could be seen that
grammar
institutes had around five points of dip, with 24%, 19% and 12%,
while
specialist
institutions showed a minor decrease, with one number each year, 12%, 11% and 10%. be seen that
grammar
institutions had around five points of dip, with 24%, 19% and 12%,
while
specialist
schools
showed a minor decrease, with one number each age, 12%, 11% and 10%.
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Introduction Enhancement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the elements you will discuss. A brief overview or summary of the main trends is also beneficial for a stronger start.
Logical Structure
In the body paragraphs, try to organize your points more logically. Discuss each school type in a separate paragraph and make sure your ideas flow naturally from one to another.
Cohesion Improvement
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion. Words such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'Similarly' can help connect your ideas more fluidly.
Comprehensive Ideas
While you've included relevant examples, make sure to explain these examples more comprehensively. Discussing the implications of the stated percentages could make your argument stronger.
Conclusion Addition
Consider adding a conclusion that summarizes the main points of your analysis and perhaps offers a very brief reflection on the data or suggests reasons for the trends.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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