IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The bestway to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#bestway #youth #crime #parents #skills
Youth
crime
 become more popular in
this
 generation. I believe, parenting
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
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 really good
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for
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to
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for
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 preventing
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
Change preposition
from
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to
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from
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making
Verb problem
committing
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
. I
partianlly
Correct your spelling
partly
 agree with the statement and in the next paragraphs,
i
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I
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 will explain a few
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 and why.
Firstly
,
youngster
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youngster'
show examples
 first step
learning
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in learning
show examples
 is from their
parents
.
Parent
Add an article
A parent
The parent
show examples
 should educate their
child
 and give
good
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a good
show examples
example
 for them.
Parents
 should have
Correct article usage
the skill
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skill
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skills
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 and knowledge to educate their
child
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children
show examples
.
For
example
, at home parent should create good
relationship
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relationships
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 with their
child
 and
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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 what they thinking and
also
 give good
example
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examples
show examples
 to resolve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problem
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problems
show examples
. In
this
 way,
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 can learn from
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 and behave like their
parents
.
Hence
,
youth
crime
 not only
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from
parents
, it
also
come
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comes
show examples
 from their
friend
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friends
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, and from
movie
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movies
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their
Correct your spelling
they are
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 watching.
Parent
Add an article
A parent
The parent
show examples
 should
controls
Change the verb form
control
show examples
 their
child
 from using access
internets
Fix the agreement mistake
internet
show examples
 and
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 good
relationship
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relationships
show examples
 with
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 friend. In
this
way
Add a comma
way,
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 you can guide and learn what their
child
 thinking.
Secondly
,
parents
 should believe the school to
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
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your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
childrents
Correct your spelling
children
 to become a better
person
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people
show examples
. At school, they not only
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
subjective
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subjectively
show examples
 they
also
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 your
childrents
Correct your spelling
children
 to
decipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
. Teachers
also
 should do a camping to reduce
youth
crime
.
For
example
, invite a
motivation
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motivated
show examples
 person to give a
speach
Correct your spelling
speech
 about
youth
crime
 and the
consciouness
Correct your spelling
consciousness
.
This
also
 can help
youngster
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
show examples
 to open their mindset. In
conclutions
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclusions
, both patenting and school education is
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 to
youngster
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youngsters
show examples
 to educate them.
Parents
 should give good
example
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examples
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 kids. Having good parenting
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
also
improve
Verb problem
helps
show examples
parents
 to educate
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 and
this
 can reduce
youth
crime
.
Submitted by teresa1411tt on

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Grammar & Vocabulary
Work on improving your grammar accuracy and range. Frequent grammatical errors and limited lexical resource detract from the clarity and impact of your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance your essay structure by clearly dividing it into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly links back to the overall argument.
Task Response
Support your arguments with more specific examples and explanations. This helps to strengthen your points and make your essay more persuasive.
Conclusion
Revise your conclusion to more effectively summarize your main points and restate your stance on the topic in a clear and persuasive manner.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting education
  • behavioural strategies
  • family relationships
  • communication
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • peer pressure
  • societal issues
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • comprehensive community programs
  • law enforcement
  • legal consequences
  • deter
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