IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The table below show the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period.

The table below show the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period.
#show #numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #surveys #visit #two #period
There are two categories of information on visiting the Ashdown
Museum
. One of them illustrates the number of
people
 who went to the
museum
 before and after renovation.
Furthermore
, the pie charts depict the result of surveys about the level of visitors’ contentment over the same two periods.
Overall
, the total number of visitors to Ashdown
Museum
 increased the
year
 after refurbishment. It can be implied that the proportion of
people
 who did not respond to questions remained unchanged.
Moreover
, the degree of dissatisfaction decreased considerably in the
year
 after renovation operations.
Similarly
, the figures for
people
 who were very dissatisfied declined slightly. In the
year
 after refurbishment, the total number of goers to Ashdown
Museum
 experienced a significant increase of 18000.
Moreover
, the proportion of
people
 who were very satisfied rose substantially from 15% to 35% in the same
year
.
On the other hand
, after renovation, the percentage of visitors who were dissatisfied and very dissatisfied fell by 25% and 5%, respectively. It is worth noting that the figure for no response
people
 was equal to 5% after and before refurbishment.
Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, people, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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