IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#food #support #population #country #insects #source #people #nature
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Eating
insects
 as a
food
 source is a solution for a country to increase
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 population.
However
, many people believe that
insects
 are not only dangerous but growing them will
also
making
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a bad effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 nature. I believe so many negative things
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 eating
insects
 outweigh the positives.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint in the impending paragraph.
Insects
 are one of the
animal
Change to a plural noun
animals
show examples
who are growing
Wrong verb form
that grow
show examples
 and
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in any place in the world
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 dark places, rubbish
bin
Fix the agreement mistake
bins
show examples
 and a surface of
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
 places. Some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 use
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
edible
insects
 as
a
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
food
 including
indonesia
Change the capitalization
Indonesia
show examples
. But, others said that, could not consume that
due to
insects
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 living wild outside without knowing how they
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
.
Furthermore
, there is a religion which
ban
Change the verb form
bans
show examples
 to
serve
Replace the word
serving
show examples
 of edible
insects
 as a dish. Some of them
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
, there are some advantages of consuming
insects
,
such
 as
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 lots of vitamins and
easy
Add a missing verb
are easy
show examples
 to harvest
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, especially, in some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 which do not have a sea to catch the fish and do not have a wide land to harvest a vegetable. Harvesting
insects
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the best idea to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in our daily
food
.
However
, the drawbacks are still many outweigh the benefits.
For instance
, we know that lots of
vitamin
Fix the agreement mistake
vitamins
show examples
 inside them,
while
, we do not know where is the source of
insects
. Might be it comes from either garbage or
dirty
Correct article usage
a dirty
show examples
 place.
Additionally
, it will
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 some other
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 in the future.
Hence
, the right way is
avoiding
Change the verb form
to avoid
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
insects
 as a dish. Chicken is a great
food
 to eat
due to
many
Correct pronoun usage
its many
show examples
 proteins,
vitamins
Correct word choice
and vitamins
show examples
 and easy to get
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, eating
insects
 is not a great solution for supporting the population of society,
due to
 the problems we will face ahead. A better option is to choose other animals to eat that provide many benefits to our daily life
Submitted by Dedeways244 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure, with separate paragraphs for introduction, benefits, drawbacks, and conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea of the paragraph.
task achievement
Develop your main points by explaining and supporting them with examples or evidence. Avoid making broad statements without backing them up.
task achievement
Pay attention to the task instructions. Make sure to address all parts of the question, including both the benefits and drawbacks of the issue, and provide a balanced view before stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Work on your grammar and spelling to ensure your essay is clear and easily understandable. Consider using tools or seeking help to improve your English language skills.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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