Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?
One of the greatest inventions of the modern era is the television.
People
spend a lot
of time
watching TV
, and spending their leisure time
watching it, may affect their relations with others. It is often believed by a few people
that there are a lot
of benefits from TV
's. However
, In my opinion, too much exposure to screens may have a lot
of disadvantages. In this
essay, we discuss how monitors are dominating people
's time
consumption and how this
affects their relations with others.
In the modern world, Most of the community spends their valuable time
before a screen, whether it be a computer monitor, a theater
, or watching television at home, which may cause some problems like eyesight, laziness, or some type of spinal disorders. The most common side effects of watching Change the spelling
theatre
TV
are eye strain and headache. Most of the children are addicted to these screens, and as a result
, their academic skills might be at risk. For example
, recently I read an article, based on the comparison between the eye health of kids from the olden days to the present generation, the results showed that in the past kids had very good eye health when compared to the newer generations.
Furthermore
, Too much exposure to the monitors may increase laziness among all kinds of populations, and this
may in turn affect the bonding between the people
. In my view, socializing is very important for society, It's the best way to understand other people
's behaviors which may be helpful in future work, and also
people
might not include you in any kind of activities or tours.
To conclude
, Watching TV
is very important for entertainment, but too much screening will negatively affect physical and mental health. Instead
of spending a lot
of free time
before TV
, crowds should find time
to talk and play with others, which helps them in many ways.Submitted by varmaib1 on
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Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Although you have presented an opinion that television consumption can be harmful, adding more specific examples and elaborating on how it prevents people from socialising could strengthen your argument. Aim to develop your ideas further to provide a completely clear and comprehensive response to the essay question.
Coherence&Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, it is important to have a strong logical flow of ideas. Your essay generally follows a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices (such as however, therefore, furthermore) to clearly link your ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations, to enhance coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.